#it can mean SO much if you are big brained. dont waste the moment by pretending it shouldnt happen

[tollsoftheclockwerkbelle]

what gets me about the shadow/maria dynamic is that it takes the trope of "weak helpless girl dies for a tragic plot device" and subverts it

Maria wasn't helpless in her fate. She did have a choice. Shadow would have been strong enough to protect them both (Where else could they even go? Would he need to hurt someone?) but instead she made a choice to protect Shadow.

Shadow's story isn't tragic because he failed to protect Maria and now spends the rest of his life tormented over it. Shadow's story is tragic because he is the strongest creature alive, but raw power isn't always enough, and his loving friend made a sacrifice to let him go hoping she was giving him a chance to learn compassion because she was strong!

Maria's purpose isn't that she's a weak little girl who dies. Maria's legacy is that she protects the strongest creature alive, and teaches it the strength of love.

Her character gives the moment purpose, not the other way around. Her willingness to die so he can go free, asking him to use his strength to protect the people of Earth, despite everything. It's her proof of love that gives Shadow's burden that kind of extreme weight. Shadow will live forever and with so much limitless power, would life be easy to discard without a second thought? Not Maria's. Not when she asked him to protect it. That weight will remind him, always.

[fortunately-bi]

...... If I went on a hiatus for who knows how long again would y'all hate me....... 👉👈

[sirenofthegreenbanks]

the "han ying shows up and kills himself out of love" storyline has started and i have thoughts

or: me ping-ponging the entire situation around in my head and examining it from every angle

(putting it under the cut, its gotten long!!! i have Feelings about this aa!!)

everytime han ying and zhou zishu chat i wonder if things could be easier if zhou zishu were a bit more candid about what he means. i mean he very clearly and undeniably tells han ying oftentimes that his life is precious and he should not waste it on zhou zishu. so clearly han ying underestimating what he means to zhou zishu, what value he has at all as a person, is not because zhou zishu didnt do his utmost to communicate it to him.

but im pretty certain that f.e. if zhou zishu would explain why han ying's hunt for the glazed armour specifically is such a stupid thing to do, han ying would probably understand him better and maybe do something else, something that doesnt cost his own life. then again, zhou zishu rejecting the glazed armour is a big part of him not wanting to live, as he doesnt actually know yet, at the time they last see each other, why betting on the mysterious ying-yang book is a bad idea; he only learns that later from long que and doesnt see han ying anymore until he shows up covered in blood. there is simply no way to tell han ying about what a bad idea it is until its too late.

but there is another reason why zhou zishu is rejecting the armoury's mysterious treasures, and that has to do with his worldliness and his experience with such things. nothing is ever as good as it sounds. in word of honor, such magical artifacts and secret techniques won''t solve the true problem, and zhou zishu knows that. he is (understandably) wary, which is later then confirmed to be a good idea. he could have told han ying that a bit more clearly, and as han ying's former superior and the one who taught him everything, han ying might have taken him seriously.

i do wonder if han ying is already aware of what a bad idea it actually is. han ying has served powerful man all his life and was carefully groomed to die in their service, so his worldliness and experience is a bit hazy. its difficult to say what his own thoughts are regarding the matter, we dont see enough of him to know that. its hard to say whether he would have betted everything he has on the glazed armour just to save zhou zishu, if the person in question were anyone else. he seems to lose his brains whenever zhou zishu is involved lmao. in his scenes we see han ying always in a role of service, never his own person, so its hard to say. judging by his attitude, he is either fully convinced the glazed armour truly is the key of all keys (heh!) or he is truly that desperate.

whatever it is, han ying can tell that zhou zishu doesnt want to live. between all the uncertainties, that is the single sure thing. he can tell that zhou zishu would have said no, no matter what. zhou zishu's relationship with wanting to live and choosing to die is very complicated, he hasn't truly figured out himself yet what he wants for most of the show. han ying meets him only in these uneasy moments, so he naturally only knows zhou zishu in a perpetuate state of depression and uncertainty. a zhou zishu who denies his own worth and value to other people, people like han ying.

maybe han ying wanting to save zhou zishu has a big part to do with han ying trying to prove to zhou zishu how important zhou zishu is to him. he's saying, "look! i would do everything for you not to die, can't you see how much i treasure you? can't you tell how worthy and loved you are?" this is especially impactful because han ying only knows zhou zishu in his worst moments. he has never seen zhou zishu the sect leader or zhou zishu the filial eldest disciple. he only knows zhou zishu from tian chuang, leader of assassins and spymaster. and he still loves and adores him.

and yes, a big part of that is likely filial piety. but it is also zhou zishu himself. and maybe zhou only sees the former, and has a difficult time acknowledging and believing the latter. and maybe thats why han ying is so desperate and would do anything to show him.

so maybe it wouldnt have changed anything after all, if zhou zishu had been a bit more candid, considering that zhou zishu's desire to die is so big it would have blotted out everything else, be it pragmatism or reason. and han ying seems to desperately want to save zhou zishu at all costs, even from himself. han ying still might have chosen the path he walks and that leads him to his death, and zhou zishu might have still ended up with one wen kexing intending to save han ying at the expense of himself, and one dead han ying.

but what always sticks out to me is that zhou zishu can not fully open himself to han ying; he is still entangled in that role of being han ying's superior whom han ying is very filial to, whom he adores. he is trying to lead his own life, but han ying (and the way zhou zishu has left tian chuang behind) make it very hard for him.

im pretty sure this could be solved if zhou zishu were more candid and would treat han ying like just any other person, someone he can meet on eye level. but that might be hard for him, because han ying's adoration is so heavy, zhou zishu, who always believes he is not worthy of such faith anymore, is so uncomfortable with it he would rather han ying fucks off. he also wants han ying to lead his own life, and he views han ying adoring zhou zishu still as han ying binding his own fate to a sinking ship. to zhou zishu, han ying's continued loyalty must be like another sign of zhou zishu's faliure; he cant even save han ying from this.

this is especially notable when you contrast zhou zishu's relationship with han ying with how zhou zishu is with wen kexing. these two are equals, and for better or worse, wen kexing has been witness to zhou zishu's journey. he knows everything there is. zhou zishu doesnt have to be candid, wen kexing understands and sees him. but they still talk openly, they show each other their worst, and then they make up about it. they go through it.

zhou zishu doesnt allow han ying to go through it with him, he mistakenly believes he is holding han ying back. he thinks, the more he sends him away, and the less he allows this loyalty and connection to grow, the better it is for han ying. so han ying runs after him, and zhou zishu keeps all the important words hidden. and maybe those important words wouldnt have changed things at all, or might have made it even worse. its truly hard to say.

honestly, han ying dying feels a lot like it couldnt have been avoided no matter what. i like to imagine that things get easier when you communicate better and allow others to through it with you, but in this case, han ying's and zhou zishu's roles seem to make it impossible for them to ever reach the kind of honesty zhou zishu cultivates with wen kexing. there is just too much zhou zishu hasnt fully confronted yet, too much pain and too much guilt. and han ying is never truly arround, for them to really see each other where they are.

[fixyourwritinghabits]

hey, i have an issue when it comes to physically writing things down. i've basically memorised all my worldbuilding, and if people call on me to explain a part that i already know, i can explain it. but the problem here comes with writing these thoughts down. every time i go to type up dossiers of my cultures, i draw up blanks, despite not lacking anything to write about. all my ideas take the form of feelings and vibes that i dont know how to capture. anything i can do to fix this? thank you

The blank page writing dilemma is extremely common and regularly trips up many authors, no matter how many ideas they have. I'm not able to write directly on a Word doc. I'm not able to put my ideas in an Excel sheet, even though I can do that for work, and I'm not able to use Scrivener, as helpful as it is. I can use the computer for everything but novel writing.

And yet, despite in my mid-30s with probable ADHD, I've been able to write a number of novels and short stories. I've got a literary agent, and maybe someday will actually sell a book, who knows? But the point is if I can do this, so can you. In order to get anything done, I turn it into an art project.

Now, I'm not an artist. I can't draw, and I don't have much patience for learning beyond the basics of other art forms. But I can take a bunch of differently colored sticky notes, assign each color meaning, and slap them to a huge project board laid out with an outlined plot structure (I personally use Save The Cat as a starting baseline). I can use some macaroni to make a fantasy map. I can create character flash cards and add vital information to each.

Gather Your Tools - It takes some trial and error to find the method that works for you. You can try flash cards, you can try sticky notes, you can try colored pencils or fancy pens (I have to use Uni Power Tank pens, nothing else works). If laying out your scenes on flash cards doesn't work because you don't like things out of order, put them on sticky notes. Give yourself enough room to expand out - on a table, on the floor, on your bed. As long as you're creating something, you are making progress.

Start Small - You have a big whole world in your head, of course it's going to be hard to write down. Pick one thing - a character, a setting - and focus on that. Make a character sheet, create a playlist, spend way too much time on Canva creating a moodboard. Whatever gets the idea out of your head and onto something concrete that you can see helps.

Your notes can be as detailed as you want - Know how a scene goes to the very last detail? You don't have to write it down in full. Alternatively, however, I find my scene notes tend to be what amounts to my first draft - I get an outline in there, some dialogue, notes on setting and mood. But it's entirely up to you and what suits your needs!

Look, just make those playlists and moodboards - It feels like it's wasting time, it's not. You're getting those ideas flowing any way you can. Use every tool that helps.

This is all good and well, but how to get from preparing to write? Well, this is where it gets challenging. A detailed book, like Book In A Month, can help, writing advice is not one size fits all, and writing books are not rigid structures to stick to, but guides.

Make a reward system - I use stickers . Seriously. In addition to my notes, I have another sheet pinned above my desk with each chapter listed, the goals for each (draft, edited, etc), and a spot for a shiny sticker (also, I used to be a teacher, and you never get over the joy of using stickers). But any system will do, as long as you keep it to something that's easy to maintain and won't break your bank.

Chuck your goals - Can't get a chapter done? Focus on a scene. Can't get the scene to work? Focus on a chapter. Write your dialogue in script form, sketch out fight scenes with notes on details to add later. Everything is fixable, as long as you have something to fix.

Can't write on a computer? Try something else - Okay, look, I can't draft anything if I don't do it by hand. Is this the greatest idea? Maybe not, but it allows my brain to slow down and get the words to where I want them to be. I don't draft fast, but I do draft well because I'm handwriting, and my first attempt often resembles the final version.

Form habits and rituals - I have to write with a certain type of pen (hello, Uni Power Tank I have to buy online because they only make them in Japan). I have to write on a certain type of paper, with specific margins, because any size deviance between pages will drive me nuts. Is this stupid and arbitrary? Yes. Does it work for me? Also yes, which is why I do it. Find that kooky writing habit that works for you, and keep to it. If it works, it works.

There's nothing wrong with you. Your lizard brain knows writing is hard and it doesn't want to do hard things if it doesn't have to, so you have to find ways to trick your brain into wanting to do the hard thing (by hiding the fact that it's hard). It won't be easy, and you'll still have a lot of moments of frustration, but creating the right writing habits that work is the first step to getting those worlds out of your head and onto the page. Good luck!

[aetherin21]

Growing Obsession and Mathematical lines.

Pairing: Getou Suguru x Reader

Genre: Fluff, slight angst

Part 2, Part 3

Notes: This is my first fanfiction and I am kinda nervous. I have never written anything like this so I am very sorry. There's part 2 and 3 its full blown angst tho lol

I am also sorry in advance if it doesnt feel like its Suguru. Wanted to capture the essence of him being a highschool boy is all.

All dressed up, Suguru waited outside her door. Waiting for his lover to get ready for their planned weekend date. He made the effort to find the nicest and cleanest shirt he could find, sprayed the cologne she gifted him on his birthday and even as well accessorize just to accentuate his looks further. He's always wearing his school uniform everywhere he goes, dressing up from time to time felt nice.

This moment is what heaven felt like, floating in cloud nine. He kept on daydreaming on what they could do, all the places they could see and the food they can eat. It wasnt everyday they could spend their free time together. Missions after mission always piled up between classes, between them. Even Satoru would just crash in on the party, totally uninvited, wrecking everything. It was annoying.

If he could Suguru would rather just scoop her in his arms and just stay there in her room locked up doing god knows what but that would be a waste of their youth. He could do that once they're a bit older, he thought. Have kids along the lines.

The sound of a click brought him down from the sky as the door finally opened. Heavens gate may not have opened but god didn't send an angel for no reason. Just like him, y/n is all dolled up as much as she can. Wearing a nice collared black dress with matching cute sneakers. Her Hair is smooth and flawless as its tucked in one ear. Ah god was truly an artist.

Sparkling on the side of her face, something caught Suguru's curiousity. Is that... an earring? That's new, she never wore one before. Did she get it pierced? When? Where? Its cute, like ridiculously cute. He thought.

With thousand thoughts flooding his brain all at once only few words came out from his lips. Blushing cheeks he pointed out "Your ears..."

"Oh" she said as she fiddled with the appendage. "I forgot they're actually pierced and thought they might close if I dont wear one..." Eyeing his reaction, with fluttering lashes and glossy lips she inquired further. "Does it suit me?"

"Yeah!" clasping his mouth hiding his extreme vocal pleasure at the sight of it. He never thought just seeing those on her would make him a blushing mess. "Yeah they do. We match now." Smiling from ear to ear, their lips too also matched.

Small hands settled on his, fitting perfectly like puzzle piece. Y/n Tugged at Suguru's big ones, urging at him to his planned destination. Excitement flash between them, this was after all their long awaited quality time.

As they walk through the streets of Shibuya talking aimlessly of their days and missed moments. Answering each of their own how are yous and what you up to, Suguru couldnt help but get distracted at the glistening gem snug on her skin. Taking a glance every so often. Even as they ate their lunch his eyes would wander off to them. It hypnotized him.

Y/n noticed the strange infatuation of her boyfriend on her accessory. Giggling to herself, she found it cute. If she knew that would be his reaction, she would have worn them a long time ago.

"You want to touch them?" She teased. For once the tables had turned.

Blinking once, twice, and now thrice. The question sank into his brain. "I am sorry, didnt mean to..." caught red handed. The faint pink that dusted his face had dialed to its peak. Suguru was usually calm and collected on any situation given to him but today he was all over the place. It was unbecoming of him. Maybe it was the usual teenage hormones or maybe he just missed her so much. Or probably both.

Yeah, its definetly both.

She's a non-sorcerer after all. A girl in a different world as his. They were supposed to be intersecting lines in the cartesian plane. Meeting only once and diverge throughout but they seemed to defy that. The numbers they've written out constantly curve and cling together meeting over and over again. Without fighting it, they yeilded; from elementary to middle school and now high school. Now even if they were far a part, they had both learned how to force their coordinates to realign again, to connect once more. Exaggerating further, defy fate when needed to.

"Gross that's all wrong ya know" Satoru said to him once as he waved his hand accompanied by a pukey face, disgusted by his best friend's love struck relationship. "Love and shit isnt for someone like us. Its just gonna bite us back. Fuck her already and leave dude. I am only telling this for your own good." It was the shittiest advice Suguru could receive especially from him, his bestfriend. His love was pure, calculated maybe but pure nonetheless. Satoru wouldn't even know what true love means till it bites him in the head or kick him in the balls. He wished he could spat that back but that sounded too corny even for him. Instead, he refuted. "You're one to talk, at least I dont get slapped by a girl once every few weeks." Feigning hurt, the resident white weirdo kept making thousands of excuses how it was a waste of time and youth to fall and love. Screaming of endless perversion of possibilities that boys like them should have. Suguru could only groan internally. Not wanting to hear any of it or any of his planned midnight escapades too.

"You dont want to?" Innocent words struck his core. Coughing from his own spit as he came back to reality. Fuck Satoru, now he's coming in between him and y/n even at this crucial moment. He'll kick him in the ass once he got back to the dorms later.

Focusing back on her, he could tell she's enjoying this way too much. Watching a teenage boy struggling with his insticts infront of the girl he likes. Batting her innocent eyes like a puppy waiting for a response to her absurd question. Embarrassing but I guess that's okay. He loves her too much.

With the sound of a defeat escaping its prison, he obliged to his own needy stupidity. Its not like he is doing something obscene in public. Its just touching her ear, there's no malice to it.

"I want to." He answered with a lopsided smile. The effect she has on him will be the death of him someday.

Slowly he moved his hands towards her cheeks, tracing the skin and embedding it to his memory. She's too pretty for her own good, he thought as his finger tips now gently sandwhich the metal on his callused ones. Feeling the soft buds peaking through, untouched by the accessory. It reminded him of rose petals. Its touch was heavenly and relaxing. Addicting even. The coolness of the ornament made it more fun to fiddle around too. He could get lost at the sensation for hours.

"Can you keep wearing them?" He asked as he continued his miniscule activity. "I really like it."

Y/n held his wrist, thumbs sliding back and forth feeling his pulse. Feeling him alive, relishing in his warmth and safety. With a soft smile, she mustered a small —

"Okay."

That day in the school grounds, Suguru never really understood what Satoru's words meant. What they truly imply. After all, love is the most twisted curse of them all.

[kashimos-hajime]

sawdust and plastic | g.t.

summary: you learn two things from your first real fight with goro. 1) he apologizes through cooking. 2) he hates it when they argue.

WARNINGS: spoilers for the gimme danger main job, swearing, slight angst, theye just communicating pairing: goro takemura x fem!street-kid!v word count: 2.2k

a/n: written with a fem!street-kid v who used to be a corpo kid. also dont yell at me but i rearranged v's apartment so the couch goes on all 3 sides bc comfortable :^) crossposted on ao3! enjoy :) 

part of the tales of a two-bit thief series

Sitting down on the couch, you kick up your feet for the first time in what you feel like has been ages. From Jackson Plains to reconnaissance on the Arasaka warehouse, you haven’t eaten shit besides the yakitori Takemura had ordered at that booth which already felt like ages ago. It’d been good—better than the trash you’ve eaten as a kid so you don’t really get picky—but you can’t help but recall the disgust on Takemura’s face when he had taken a single bite.

“Sawdust and plastic.”

You snort, running hands over your face and tilting your head back. Stupid fucking Japanese man with an endearing sense of dry-humour and… zero tolerance for your cheeky smiles. 

Then he had to go ahead and bring up Jack.

His words, cold, callous, echo in your skull like a goddamn radio and you squeeze your eyes tight, raking your hands down your face and melting into the couch. No matter how much you wanna stop it, you can’t help hearing it over and over and over.

Grabbing the remote, you’re about to switch on a channel in hopes you catch something that cna take your mind off everything when there’s a knock on your door.

For a moment, you truly debate telling them to fuck off but then, there is a pause.

“V.”

Eyes widening, your body goes rigid at the sound of his voice.

“V, let me in before I look anymore foolish.”

In the back of your head, you tempt the idea of just leaving him out there, pretending like you’ve fallen asleep, but then you get up anyway against your better judgement. You drag your feet over the floor, picking up old takeout boxes you haven’t had time to clean up and tossing clothes into a hamper to make your apartment look more like an organized mess than the dumpster fire you know Takemura will scold you for.

When you reach the door, you let him in without a word and you note the bags he holds on, hoisting them over to your living room counter.

“What’s this?” you question wearily. “Goro, I’m not hungry.”

“I realized I must apologize for my harsh words.” Beginning to pull out the groceries, you walk over and peer inside the bag, frowning. All the stuff inside is cheap synth shit, nothing you haven’t eaten before, but you’re still confused as to what’s going on since you don’t exactly have a kitchen in your place, but then out of one of the thicker bags, Takemura pulls out a big box.

“For saying them?”

“Yes." He sets the box down before continuing with groceries. “Earlier, I told you if I had time and resources, I would cook onigiri.”

“With cod, or grilled salmon. Or umeboshi plums, because they were Saburo’s favourite,” you finish and he sends you a look that could’ve been a smile if his lips had curved more and his eyes meant it. “I remember.” Helping him with the big box, you cut it open and find a rice cooker within. Eyeing the contraption with an arched eyebrow, you can’t help but ask: “Where’d you find this stuff?”

“It was difficult. I had to lower my standards.” 

“Lowering standards,” you echo dryly, unable to help your empty smile. “Yeah. We do that a lot in grand ole NC.” He doesn’t seem amused by you even trying to help as you sit down on the couch, twist to watch him work. “Are you sure you don’t want me to help?”

“I am cooking to apologize. It would not be honourable for you to help me,” he replies shortly and you nod to yourself, turning back around to watch the news. Nothing about a break-in with the floats, nothing at all indicating… anything.

For some reason, it makes you uneasy. The last time you snuck into an Arasaka building, everything went to shit and it made its mark. The lack of visible ripples makes you feel like nothing’s happened at all. Like it’s all been a fever dream, and you and Takemura didn’t sit on that roof for hours, watching the cat, just… talking.

Jesus, you need to get laid.

“Still don’t know why you bother cooking,” you say. Takemura noticeably stiffens and even though you don’t see it, you can almost feel the way he manipulates the air he stands in. He has that power—pure corpo power—and you clench your jaw. “Why waste time on someone so lazy as me?”

“V—"

“Nah, my bad. Arrogant. Hell, you probably see all the takeout around here and think I’m taking some easy route to food.” The bitterness is enough to puncture holes in steel as you stare blankly at the screen. “After all, I dirty my hands for money,” you quote. Your chest tightens as you hear his voice echo in yours, the way he had said it so coldly. Stomach turning, you shake your head. “Not in the name of some fucking principles.”

There’s a silence on his end and you close your eyes, swallowing through the bruising in your throat, a telltale sign you’re holding back tears. Just the mention of Jackie makes you want to spiral and you take a deep breath, trying not to react.

For the first time, you think Johnny might be right.

“Damn right, I am,” a voice says and you open your eyes, gaze fluttering to the side to see Johnny lounging against your couch. You turn around to see Takemura’s moved to the bathroom, probably to clean rice… however the fuck you make onigiri. You don’t know. You’re too tired to care about food, or feelings, or anything. “Never can trust a corpo. They all want one thing.”

“I don’t need to remind you that I was a corpo kid, do I?”

“Not anymore. It’s about principles.” Johnny’s tone is wry and you scowl at him. “What? If there’s one thing you might be able to relate to is that you both have ‘em. His might be wrong as shit, but…”

“Yeah, whatever.” 

“Oh, don’t tell me you’re gonna forgive him. This guy’s got you wrong, V. You don’t waste time on people like that.”

“I don’t have time to stay angry with him,” you argue. “The fact is, I’m dying and he’s gonna be the only one who can save me.” Johnny sits up straight, leaning on his knees and you sigh, shaking your head. Resting your arm along the back of the couch, you fit your hand to your face, pinching the bridge of your nose. “Fuck.”

“Stop. Don’t do it, V. It’s not worth it,” Johnny warns, standing up and you wrench your gaze up as you shift your feet on the floor and lean forward, burying your face in your hands. “I can feel everything you are feeling, and if I have to deal with your indecisive debates on whether or not it’s worth it to become attached to this corp piece of shit, I’ll kill myself.”

“You’re already dead, Johnny.”

“Let me live a little.” He stands and edges around you as if he were real and you rest your chin in your palms, watching as his holographic imagine crosses you before glitching back into view again across the table. He sits down. “The truth is, you’re gonna have a hell of a problem.”

“I know.”

“So, stop.” Johnny says it like it’s so easy and you chew on your cheek as the faucet turns off and you turn around to see Takemura begin to leave your bathroom. His pale eyes catch yours and you turn around only to see your brain tumour’s gone and left you alone. It’s eerily quiet in your head and you stand, clearing your throat.

Takemura slips the clean rice into the rice cooker before closing it and you cross your arms below your breasts, squeezing yourself tightly. You feel bare in your clothes despite wearing your scuffed jacket. He regards you warily, and then he sighs, gesturing to the couch—a silent ask.

 You nod, stepping back and letting him take where you were sitting earlier. You retreat across from him, where Johnny was sitting and he glances around your apartment. You wonder if he’s judging even more of you, but then he looks into his hands, swallowing visibly. 

“V—"

“You’re not the only one with principles. Just because I kill for money don't mean I'd do anything for it,” you begin coldly, leaning back and studying him. “And nothing about my life has been easy. When I said you did what you had to do to keep food on the table, that wasn’t me judging you. That was me getting it, alright, Goro?” His eyes meet yours and you arch an eyebrow, scoffing. “Not my problem if you don’t believe me. Yeah, I oppose corps, because they ruined my life, and so many other people’s lives no one can count 'em, but that doesn't mean you're any better than me. You don’t get to make assumptions about me. You never get to make assumptions about Jackie.That is all I have to say.”

He nods, accepting your harsh tone and you bite your tongue, trying not to burn down the bridge anymore than you need to as you prop a foot up against the table. Takemura doesn't say anything for a hot moment and you think you've wasted your time. Your knee jiggles. He doesn't even look at you.

Then: “I must again say that we are both still grieving. We ache to lash out. That is why I said what I said, and why, I presume, you say what you say.” He steeples his fingers and regards you with those eyes, gorgeous in their own right. “I understand what I said was callous. You have been nothing but understanding to my own loss.”

“No shit.”

“And I understand Mr. Welles was your friend.”

“He was like my brother,” you correct icily. “He’s been there for me since the beginning, I—I can’t forgive you saying something like that about him so easily, Goro.”

He dips his head. “I understand. It is why I cook for you. It is how I best express myself." The corner of his mouth tugs up faintly in a mirthless facsimile of a smile before he exhales sharply through his nose, looking at you again. "I confess I have not had time recently to cook, but I will do my best.” Johnny’s link comes to life at the mention and your own stomach squirms silently. “We are in this together, V. I do not wish for you to be angry at me.”

“Don’t do it, V. Don’t take it.”

“Fuck off, Johnny. I’m starving.” Aloud, you say: “I’ll be angry for a while. Just… let me sleep on it and we'll see from there.” He nods and you let your arms fall to your sides as you sit up. “It’s been a long few days, so I just… I just want to not think about anything for a while, you know?”

“I understand.”

He says that a lot, you notice. 

“Thank you for apologizing, at least,” you continue grudgingly. “Thanks.” You stand and gesture vaguely around the place. “Make yourself at home. I’m… I’m going to shower and scrub this grime off.” Dried blood, sweat, dirt, et cetera. He nods and stands as well, returning to the tiny cooking station he’s made for himself. You head to your closet, managing to pick out a clean shirt that’s a bit big and a jacket you ripped off a 6th Street goon a few weeks back. You just picked it up from the cleaners.

Heading for the bathroom, you set your crap on the toilet cover before poking your head out. Spotting Takemura sitting in front of the table, carefully sharpening a knife, you wait until he’s noticed you staring and he prompts you silently to ask.

“How’d you even know where I live, anyway?” 

He turns his gaze back on the blade.

“Ms. Olszewski marked it in my map, should the need arise.”

“This was a need?” you ask, curiously sardonic. Takemura doesn’t smile back and again, you get that impression he either doesn’t know how or he doesn’t do it often enough to remember. For some reason, that makes you sad. "Could've left it well enough alone. You know that."

“Oh, come on, V,” Johnny murmurs in your ear. “Don’t wax poetics on this guy.”

You ignore him.

“I do not enjoy the thought of a rift between you and I,” admits Takemura. He sets down the knife and sighs, eyes flitting to you briefly. Your hand wraps around the doorframe and you press your lips into a faint frown. "I... I have grown used to you."

You nod despite the words punching into your chest. “I don’t like it when we fight either.” At least, that you don’t have to fight twice to figure out. Your expression eases and your shoulders drop. “I’ll just hop in. Help yourself to whatever you can find. Really.” He accepts your offer with another nod and you close the door. It locks and you press your back against the metal, tipping your head back.

“For the love of—“

“Shut it, Johnny. Just… just give me a second.”

And on one of the rare occassions that he listens to you, Silverhand says nothing about how your heart doesn’t feel like wrought iron anymore.

[narisjournal-blog]

These Nights

Fandom: Supernatural

Pairing: Chuck x Reader

Fluff

Words: 1685

Notes: This was a request from honestly years ago and I’m such an asshole for only just posting this - I’m so so sorry. I haven’t included the name or request as it was quite personal. You know who you are :) This is of course a soft, fluffy, loving Chuck from before The Twist in Supernatural. 

Thanks for reading!

***

Warm water cascaded over your hair and your shoulders, soaking you in a chaotic, relentless stream. 

You had long finished your shower but still you stood unmoving in its grasp.

It was cold out there and dark. You held onto the reprieve a little longer.

You gave a heavy sigh.

‘I wish you would show your face,’ you said. ‘I wish... I need...’ 

you sighed again, shaking your head. 

Standing up, you turned off the shower and stepped out. 

You grabbed a towel and quickly wrapped it round you, shivering. 

Once in your pyjamas you sat heavily on your bed and towelled at your hair. You gave up quickly and curled up on your bed, letting the tears flow. All you could see behind tightly closed lids was his face. Those big blue eyes, both gentle and stern at the same time. Chuck- the god you never knew you needed. 

What would he think of you now? You so desperately wanted to see him, but not like this. He would be so disappointed, you thought. 

‘I wish I could be what you want me to be,’ you choked out. 

You always intended to pray before bed; to check in, pay respects and show you were thankful. Like in the movies, knelt by your bed, peaceful and worthy. 

But it never worked out like that. The more you thought about what you wanted to say, the more overwhelmed you became and realised he would never have the time to sit and listen to all of that. 

You began to shiver, partly from your damp hair but mostly from the despair that was taking hold of you.

You felt the mattress dip and you gasped. Then you felt a warm hand on your back and his calm took over you.

You looked up into big blue eyes, full of concern. 

‘Do you really believe that?’ Said Chuck softly. ‘That I don’t have time for you?’

‘It’s not... I mean... I’m just a giant waste of your time. I’m sorry,’ you cringed. 

‘Please,’ He said. ‘Don’t ever apologise for existing.�� Chuck gave your arm a squeeze. ‘And no, you’re not.’

You wiped your eyes and sat up.

‘You have far more important things and I’ve dragged you here.’

‘With all due respect, y/n, you don’t get to tell me how to spend my time.’

You couldn’t look in his eyes long. They broke you. There was so much love that you just couldn’t handle. 

Your shame made you wish you were alone again. 

‘But you don’t really want me to leave, do you?’ He stated softly. 

You continued looking down at the bed.

After an abnormally long silence you gave the smallest shake of your head and sighed. 

‘Is there anything you want to talk about?’ He said, hand resting on your back just below your damp hair.

You shrugged and stuttered. ‘I ... there’s...’ 

So much, you thought. But I can’t even begin to wrap my brain around it. 

You knew he could hear you.

You know what, sometimes I’m just so tired of trying to figure this all out or having to figure out what I mean or where I belong. Sometimes I need you to just tell me! Sometimes I need...

‘Sometimes words are hard. I understand.’

You held your forehead in your hands, as if in some desperate attempt to hide your face. The man was infuriating. You wanted to scream at him, but all you could do was huff out a breath. He could feel you shaking by now. 

‘But you know sometimes the best way to figure things out and understand your needs is to talk. Even if it seems stupid or redundant to you in this moment.’

‘You’re God,’ you almost whispered. ‘You know everything. It is redundant.’

This is why you were better alone. You drew your knees up to your chest and buried your face in your arms.

‘Look you can just go,’ you mumbled. ‘I’m sorry.’ 

He obviously knew what you were going through but was choosing not to help and you felt embarrassed you had even thought about bringing him here. 

After a long silence you realised his hand had not moved from your back. 

‘I’m not going anywhere.’ 

You lifted your head and chanced a glance sideways at him. Your gaze was met by the brightest blue and a rush of warmth and love flooded you again. You looked away.

‘Ok, here’s a deal. You tell me about one thing that’s on your mind and then no more talking, I promise. Deal?’

You sighed heavily. You spoke as the words formed in your mind, slowly and broken up.

‘I don’t know what I’m doing with my life. I feel like...’ you swallowed the lump In Your throat but it didn’t stop your voice from cracking.

‘I feel like I’m not ... not good enough at anything... like I just...’ your voice dropped to a whisper. ‘Take up space.’ 

Chuck rested his head against yours and pulled you into him closer with a sigh. 

He kissed the top of your head and pulled back, brushing hair from your face. His eyes connected with yours and you felt a weight lift of your chest before he had even spoken.

‘Y/N, you matter so much to me. I created you and I have no regrets. I am proud of you every single day because of how strong you are.’

You looked away. ‘I’m not.’

‘Don’t argue with me,’ he said, his voice firm and authoritative now.

Your head whipped back up, surprised by his tone.

Piercing blue charged right through to your soul when he looked into your eyes now.

‘You are strong,’ he affirmed. ‘Strong doesn’t feel easy. You’re stronger than you know.’

Tears began to spill once more, but this time it felt like freedom. For that moment as he held you, you felt truly safe. Loved.

He continued. ‘It might not be clear now. You feel a little lost, I can see that. Trust me. I’ve got you, and you have so much purpose.’

Your shoulders shook as you cried, and he squeezed you once more. Without speaking, he helped you dry your hair, holding you when you shivered.

‘Can you make it warmer?’ you whispered, teeth chattering. He chuckled, pulling the bedcovers back and helping you into bed.

You lay down, curled up on your side and felt Chuck’s warmth move through you as he lay next to you.

You didn’t need to say anything else. You just lay there, allowing yourself to feel safe and relaxing fully for the first time in maybe years. Chuck stroked your hair and said softly, ‘You haven’t been sleeping too good.’

His hand rested on your forehead and you felt a peace radiate from his palm.

‘Goodnight,’ he whispered as you felt your eyelids close and the calm of sleep envelope you.

**

It was already light when you woke, which hadn’t happened for a very long time. Your cheeks flushed with warmth and you rubbed the sleep out of your eyes. Your mind slowly uncoiled itself and you rolled onto your back to find the bedsheets beside you cold. He was gone. Of course he was gone.

Had he really meant all those things, or was he just trying to get some peace away from your spiralling thoughts?

You breathed in deeply, trying not to let your mind poison the calm you had felt with him and – was that cinnamon you smelled? You sat up. It was definitely cinnamon. Sweet cinnamon, and you could hear music. No, singing. You could hear singing.

Pulling a hoodie on, you stood up and made your way downstairs towards the sound.

And there in your kitchen, pulling something out of the oven and humming to himself, was Chuck.

He turned as you entered and beamed. ‘Right on time,’ he said.

‘Did you make cinnamon buns?’

‘I know how much you love them, but never have the energy to make them.’ He placed the tray down on the heat proof mat on the side. Mixing bowls lay strewn clumsily about the sink. Of all the thoughts you could have had in that moment, you honestly wondered if God was going to wash the dishes.

‘You’ve made a mess,’ you added, nodding in that direction.

Chuck raised an eyebrow and folded his arms across his chest.

‘I mean… Thank you,’ you garbled. ‘I- thank you. I love them.’ You surveyed the kitchen once again.

‘But couldn’t you just, you know…’ you pointed your finger, indicating using his powers.

‘Ah, that’s no fun,’ he shrugged.

Chuck leaned across to the cafetiere you had forgotten you had and pushed the top down.

‘I thought you’d have gone. I was expecting you to be gone when I woke up.’

Chuck smiled again. ‘I’m never really gone, you know,’ he said. He poured coffee into a mug and handed it to you, the heat sharp against your palm. ‘I’m always here. Next time you taste coffee, remember this moment.’

You sipped the strong liquid and savoured the taste.

‘Next time you lie in bed feeling alone, remember me there next to you.’

‘Next time I wash the dishes, I’ll remember when you used my kitchen,’ you said with a smirk.

‘Next time you taste a cinnamon bun’- you cut him off.

‘I get the idea, Chuck. So are those ready to eat, or what?’

He chuckled as he divided them onto plates and guided you over to the kitchen table.

And for the first time in forever, the day ahead was filled with hope and the promise that you were not doing this alone.

***

Tags:

(I hope I’ve got my list right, I may have missed a few changes people have requested - if I have I’m sorry. My list is a clusterfuck tbh.)

Everything list:

@afanofmanystuffs

@trashforwinchesters

@yourewelcomeforbeingmyfriend

@natasha-cole

@greenappleeyes

@bisexualdolphinthings

@i-dont-understand-that-url

@misszombicorn

@lucerospn1detc

@robjackface

Rob/chuck list:

@tas898

@destielschild

@girl-next-door-writes

@winchestergirl-13

@a-banana-for-your-thoughts

@jelly-beans-and-gstrings

@kocswain

@gettingbywithalittlehelp96

@itsfunnierin-enochian

@rblstrash

@megthemewlingquim

@holamishamigos

[andromedasstarship]

in the stars - chapter 1

photo credit: @ssahotchnerr

pairing - aaron hotchner x reader

warnings - canon-typical criminal minds violence, show rating 16+ for reference. depictions of violence, stalking, murder, angst, age gap couple, drinking, brief mention of drugs.

summary - You finally meet the BAU, little progress is made in terms of the case. 

a/n - early update yay! i take a lot of liberties with movies that reader has starred in, pls dont take irl movie release dates into consideration here lol. more notes at the end 

blog rules 

masterlist // read it on ao3 here 

prologue // next chapter 

-----

Chapter 1 

Flights to California always took an extra toll on the team. Reid had explained it once, in a too long ramble, how the wind worked against the plane lengthening the flight at least an hour longer than the trip back home. 

Hotch was finding it difficult to focus on the files in front of him. The first photo he opened was of victim #3, with her eyes closed and face turned to the side, even Hotch could’ve been fooled that it was you lying there dead. While the rest of the team was mulling over the facts of the case, he was debating whether or not to tell the team about your history. The Unit Chief in him knew this was important information that had the potential to hinder the case; his relationship to you was too personal and his withholding of information could even turn him into a suspect. If the roles had been reversed with another member of the team, he’d have concerns over their ability to even be on the case. For now, Hotch forced himself to tune into the conversation the rest of the team was having; promising himself he’d figure out what to do later. 

“Garcia, what do we know about L/N,” Emily asked, turning ever so slightly towards the screen Garcia had just popped up on. 

“I’m glad you asked my dear Emily. Y/N L/N is totally Hollywood’s It Girl right now, it’s rumored you can’t even get a meeting with her without forking over at least twenty big ones. She’s never had a bad role in her career. Personally, my favorite movie she starred in was Mamma Mia, but like I said never a bad role,” Garcia paused for a moment, the sound of her typing filling the silence, “is it inappropriate for me to ask one of you to get her signature for-”

“Garcia,” Rossi interjected, “anything else we need to know about her right now?” 

“Sorry sir, I promise to be on my best professional behavior. But come on, remember when she swept the Oscars three years-”

Hotch felt himself detach from the conversation yet again, staring out the window as memories of the two of you flooded his brain. 

Three Years Ago 

The team had just finished a grueling case in Georgia. It was long, taking nearly two weeks to catch the unsub, in which he had managed to murder three additional couples right under their noses. Inclement weather forced them to stay another night until the storm passed, leaving them all stranded by the airport. In a turnaround way, being stuck gave them the rare opportunity to relax and bond as a team. Rather than all disappear to their own rooms for the night, they all packed into one small hotel room. Boxes of Chinese takeout were littered around the room, along with various bottles of alcohol. The Oscars were on that night and Hotch knew you’d be on the screen at some point, not wanting to miss it he proposed watching it to the team and they all happily agreed. While it was difficult with their schedules to be avid movie goers, they all were relatively familiar with the contenders for big awards such as Best Picture and Best Actor. 

You were nominated for two separate awards that night, along with starring in a film nominated for Best Picture. It had been a monumental year for you, with three separate feature films hitting theaters and all becoming major successes both financially and socially. You had spent so much time jet setting for press conferences and movie tours that you rivaled Aaron in terms of suitcase living. 

“Everyone shut up! They’re about to do Best Supporting Actress, oh I just know it’s going to be Y/N. Emily agree with me! We saw her in Little Women together, I cried. Oh don’t give me that look Emily, you cried too and you know it!” Penelope said enthusiastically, waving her chopsticks around. It was rare that Garcia ever came with on a case, but the location had been in a remote part of the state and they wanted to avoid being unable to reach her and her technical wizardry; a fact she was particularly grateful for, had this watch party been happening without her, she would’ve been so jealous.  

To anyone else, the grin on Hotch’s face would have been easily equated to the bickering going on between his friends and the effects of the few drinks he had thrown back. It was all for you though, he had caught glimpses of you on screen throughout the night and had snuck more than one glance at his phone to see the pictures of your outfit you’d sent him yourself. When the presenters walked on stage, Hotch sat up a bit straighter, his body naturally inching closer to the edge of his seat. The screen set up so the faces of all nominees and their reactions could be seen, Hotch’s eyes glued to the box you were in. 

“And the winner of Best Supporting Actress goes to…,” the first presenter started, slowly opening the envelope they held, “Y/N L/N!” The crowd roared and the camera focused in on you sitting stunned in your seat, surrounded by coworkers and friends. The team was cheering too, the liquor in their system loosening everyone up. Hotch clapping uncharacteristically loud and long even went unnoticed by the others. 

“I was right, I knew it!! I should start betting on this, you know what I bet I could hack into the system-” Garcia’s voice barely even registered in Hotch’s brain as he watched you. With one hand clasped over your mouth and the other holding your dress you made your way up the stairs and to the center of the stage. 

“Wow,” you started, eyes wide as you stared down at the award in your hands, slowly you looked back up into the crowd and continued, “I really mean it when I say I wasn’t expecting this. I didn’t even prepare a speech, I’m so sorry,” you paused again, the biggest smile plastered on your face as you quickly wiped a few tears threatening to fall, “thank you all so much, for supporting me and letting me do what I love. Thank you to my fellow coworkers who pushed me in this project and thank you so much to the fans who give me the strength to do this every day. Thank you! Thank you so much!” You ended, making your way back towards your seat. Hotch grinned as you flashed a wide smile to the camera following you, throwing a flirty winky that he knew was just for him.

The rest of the night went by in a blur. When you won again for Best Actress, you were barely able to contain yourself on stage, tears flowing freely down your face as you gave your thanks. The joy you felt in that moment was unlike anything you’d ever experienced in your life. At just 24, you had become the first person ever to win both awards in the same night. Hotch had actually jumped out of his seat at your second win, a motion that confused the rest of the team, but the liquor in everyone’s system forced them to ignore it; more glad than anything to see Hotch loosening up for once. 

After the team finally retreated into their own rooms for the night, Hotch wasted no time in texting you, asking if you were free to talk on the phone. His excitement palpable when not even a minute later your contact came up on the screen. 

“Aaron,” your excited voice came through the phone, just being able to hear you eased tension he wasn’t even aware he had been carrying, “can you believe it!” 

“Congratulations, Miss Double Oscar winner.” Even after a year of being together, his voice made you giddy. “Where are you?” He asked, unable to ignore the pounding sound of music and people in the background. 

“After party, top secret location Mr. Agent. I’m in the bathroom! Am I allowed to tell you I definitely see some residue of a line on the counter,” your voice was slurred and rushed, the energy of the moment combined with the liquor in your system causing your mouth to move faster than your brain, “probably not, ignore that. Where are you?” 

Aaron relayed various info about closing the case and what the team had gotten up to that night. When you began telling him about your night, he couldn’t help but feel insecure. Where he told you about $8 takeout meals and rural Georgia, you were talking about some of the biggest names in Hollywood and the luxury treatment you’d been subject to all night. He forced himself to focus on your voice anyway; not wanting to take this time ‘with’ you for granted. The two of you could’ve talked for hours, had it not been for Hotch pushing you to go enjoy the celebrations. 

“I’m so proud of you angel,” he said softly, voice swelling with adoration, “I’ll see you soon, I promise.” 

“I love you Aaron.” 

“I love you too Y/N.” 

When he finally hung up, he leaned against the wall with a sigh, running his hands through his hair. Relationship wise, it had been a tough year for the two of you. With your schedule busier than you’d ever expected, it meant seeing each other in person was nearly impossible. In good conscience you refused to take him away from Jack on the rare weekends he had off. Instead you’d fly in whenever possible, the two of you spending low profile nights together in fancy hotels or his house if Jack was away with friends. It was excruciating maintaining a relationship like this, but something about the success of the night made the sacrifices feel worth it. 

Present Day

“Look into her dating history, any exes that would want to hurt her?” JJ asked, her question pulling Hotch back into the present. Adjusting to the constant publicity you were subject to had been a learning curve for Hotch, the first time the tabloids ran a story of you photographed with some Hollywood Hunk his bad mood had the entire team walking on eggshells for a week. 

“According to my search she hasn’t dated anyone in years, or at least not publicly. I have a theory she’s secretly dating Henry Ca-.” Hotch zoned back out before Garcia could finish, having no interest in hearing or seeing whoever the media was speculating to be involved with you this time. Willing the plane to land faster, he ignored the faint voice in the back of his head that was telling him you were free to be with whoever you wanted. 

----

“If you’d follow me Miss L/N, the BAU has set up in the back conference room, they’ve been waiting for you.” Officer Reynolds said, her back to you as you followed her down the hallway. It was nearly 9am and you had spent the better half of the morning hyping yourself up to see Aaron for the first time in nearly two years. You made last second adjustments to your outfit; an outfit you definitely hadn’t spent all of last night picking out because you definitely did not want to look good for Aaron Hotchner. As Officer Reynolds moved to open the door you held your breath, thanking the years of experience in manipulating your outward expressions. When four heads turned in unison to look at you, you let out a sigh of relief. Aaron wasn’t in the room. 

“This is Y/N L/N. Miss L/N, meet the BAU,” Officer Reynolds said, extending her arm outwards towards the rest of the room, “I’ll leave you guys to do introductions, if you need anything, find me,” and with that she exited the room. A blonde woman stepped forward first, extending her hand out to you. You knew who she was before she even said her name. 

“My name is Jennifer Jareau, I’m the media liaison with the BAU.” She said, she gave you the same smile all the other officers had been giving you, but unlike theirs that reeked of pity, something in Jennifer’s felt authentic to you. After shaking hands with her, the rest of the room took a moment to introduce themselves. You never thought you’d meet Aaron’s team like this. Over the years, he had shown you countless photos of the team, along with hundreds of stories and tidbits concerning their lives. Even though you knew they had probably spent the entire flight to LA looking at your life, it still felt as if you had some creepy advantage over the situation. 

“The rest of our team, Agents Hotchner and Morgan, are currently doing some research in the field, but until they return we’d love to brief you and ask you a few questions, is that alright?” JJ asked, stepping backwards and motioning for you to take a seat at the round table. 

“Of course,” you quickly replied, moving to take a seat; internally you were laughing at the irony of her asking if it was alright, what would you do, say no? Looking up at the other three members still standing you motioned for them to sit as well, “I don’t know if you’re doing it on purpose, but I’d prefer if you all sat down too,” you paused, before adding, “kinda makes me feel like I’m back at school.” They seemed to smile at that, everyone else moving to find a seat at the table. Before the silence could turn uncomfortable, JJ spoke up again. 

“Does anyone else in your life know about the murders?” 

You shook your head no before replying, “my agent knows just in case I have to go underground and my security guard is aware, but besides them and the police, I haven’t told anyone.” 

“Go underground?” 

“Uh yea, a few years ago I had a stalker. I went ‘underground’ for about three months and the guy seemed to give up. The police have already cleared him, he hasn’t been to LA in over a year,” you explained. 

“That’s good to know. We want to keep your involvement in the case completely out of the media. I can only imagine you want that too,” JJ started, angling her body towards you, “I know you’re probably more than well versed in dealing with the press, but if anyone comes up to you asking about the murders we want you to completely disengage. And of course, don’t tell anyone else about what’s going on.” 

“Alright, now that that’s settled, we just have a couple questions for you,” Emily asked as she stood up, opening up a file from the table, “so what can you tell us about-” 

----

The dump site wasn’t showing any promise. Situated near a highway, the field was hidden from the road, yet still accessible by car. The constant stir caused by the speeding cars meant any leftover DNA or footprints were effectively blown away. 

“Our guy’s gotta be fit. The drop into the field is just steep enough he would’ve had to carry the body at least fifty feet to get it here from the road. He could’ve rolled it, but the bodies were too pristine to have been dropped on the ground like that.” Derek said, looking over at Hotch. The two of them were standing at the edge of the road, looking down at the now empty field. “Not only that, but this is a nice spot. Normally places like this so close to a highway are filled with trash, do you think he might’ve cleaned up?” 

Hotch was silent as he considered this, before slowly nodding, “it’d make sense if he did. Everything we have concerning his treatment to the victims post mortem has been nothing but affectionate.” 

“Do you think there could be two unsubs?” Derek asked, when Hotch looked at him with mild confusion he continued, “All the victims were strangled to death, ME report assumes it was by hand. It takes a lot of strength and persistence to kill someone by hand like that, not only that but it’s intimate, he’s staring them in the face as he kills them. The level of care displayed here seems way more than just remorse.” 

Hotch took another moment to consider Derek’s proposition before shaking his head, “we’ll keep it in mind, but it’s clear whatever connection he has to L/N is personal, at least to him. These women could be failing to replicate some part of her personality and in his rage he kills them. But when they’re silent and unmoving, their likeness to L/N lets him fall back into the fantasy, hence the care.” 

“We should start heading back, Reid just texted me they’re almost done with the initial briefing with L/N, and we should meet her before she takes off for the day.” Derek said, putting his phone back in his pocket before turning on his heel to head back to the car. Hotch’s shoulders tensed at the idea of seeing you, looking back at the field once more. Giving the field one last look, he felt a shiver run up his spine at the idea of finding you in a field like this. Shaking the idea out of his, he turned to join Derek in the car. 

Hotch took the driver's seat, glad to be able to use the road as a needed distraction from the impending face to face. The drive was only twenty minutes, but Hotch didn’t think any time would truly be long enough to prepare himself to see you again. He found himself wondering if anything would be different from the last time he saw you. Did you still smell the same? You had always been quite adamant about your preference for scented lotion, rather than perfumes. What if you completely changed your hair? Were you worrying about seeing him as much as he was? 

“You think she’s gonna be easy to work with?” Derek asked, breaking Hotch out of his mental spiral. 

“What do you mean?”

“Y/N, you know, “Hollywood’s It Girl”,” Derek explained, “if she’s as in demand as Garcia said she was-”

“While we work this case Morgan, I expect you to conduct yourself appropriately,” Hotch interjected, his voice tight, “we treat Y/N the way we would anyone else, do I make myself clear?” His eyes not leaving the road at all, knuckles tight around the steering wheel. 

“Crystal,” Derek responded, raising his hands up in mock surrender. 

As they turned into the parking lot, Hotch scanned the parking lot before finally noticing your car parked in the back of the lot. You used to always park as far as you could, constantly complaining about how people in parking lots stressed you out and you wanted to be able to drive in and out as easy as possible. The corners of his lips turned up, ever so slightly, thinking maybe nothing had really changed for you, at least in that regard. 

“You go ahead, I’m just going to send a message to Jack real quick,” Hotch lied, pulling his phone from his pocket. Derek nodded and got out of the car, quickly entering the building. Hotch put his phone down in his lap and gripped the steering wheel once more. You were one of the few people to ever wind him up this way; it had been like that from the first day he met you, as if you managed to make him melt under your gaze. Five minutes, he would give himself five minutes to pull himself together before letting the Unit Chief in him take over. 

----

“I’m sorry, I just, can I take a break,” you asked, looking up at the agents who were still grilling you about facets of your life you never would’ve considered relevant, “I just need to get some air.” Without really waiting for permission, you were pushing back on your chair to stand up. Slinging on your thin jacket you exited the room, heading for the entrance of the building. The agents had been kind, but you were starting to feel a bit useless. Each time they had a new theory, you came up short in terms of material for them to actually use. They kept reassuring you that what you were able to come up with was helpful, but you weren't convinced. 

You had been in and out of this office so many times, your body went into autopilot as you made your way to the entrance, not even pausing to look up as you started to push open the door. What you missed was the distinct outline of a body pulling the door open at the same time. The added force made you stumble, nearly crashing straight into the man on the other side. Brown eyes met yours and you both froze, uncertain of what to say before speaking at the same time. 

“Y/N.”

“Agent.”

-----

a/n - wow wow! things are gonna start moving in the next chapter, i promise. the response to ‘in the stars’ so far has been so heartwarming. ive said it before, but this is my first fic and i cant even fathom that people are actually interested in what im writing. your support means the world! im trying to get stuff written before university starts up again, but i dont want to nix quality for faster updates so if updates slow down im sorry! comments always appreciated. leave a reply or ask if youd like to be added to the taglist! if you requested before but arent added, just ask again i mustve missed it on accident 

Taglist: @mac99martin​ @iwaizumiee​ @kylorendrip​ @hqtchner​ @lieswithoutfairytales​ @ssahoodrathotchner​ @midsummernightdream​ @weasleylovers​ @evans-dejong​

no permission is given to republish or upload my fics anywhere else. if you see this story not on my tumblr or ao3 it is stolen work. i do not own criminal minds or any of the characters involved

[rouiettes]

raya and the ugliest fucking dragon i've ever seen holy fuck who the hell thought to give a dragon fuckiNG EYEBROWS WHY WHY—

aka the musings of a filo non-binary bisexual who feels victimized by the dragon designs of this fucking movie supposedly centred around THE LAST DRAGON???? MAYBE THEY SHOULD HAVE STAYED STONE GDI WHAT THE FUCK SERIOUSLY WHY DO THE DRAGONS LOOK LIKE THAT

let's get one thing straight.

none of the characters in this movie. rest assured. not a single straight person was in this movie. trust me.

raya and the last dragon had all the foundations of a good movie

IT COULD HAVE BEEN SO GREAT

BUT IT WASNT

AND HERE'S WHY

(in my humble opinion okay pls dont come for me)

a disney movie with sea culture at its heart and soul, i was so hyped to finally watch this movie

(not as hyped as i could have been tho bc let's be honest DISNEY DID SHIT WITH RAYA'S MARKETING)

(AND PERHAPS FOR GOOD REASON LOL I SWEAR I DONT HATE THIS MOVIE OKAY)

you had the amazing score, the amazing concepts for plot and characters, the solid solid worldbuilding???

if you just told me about how raya's setting and premise, i'd probably be "wow this movie sound like the whole package"

and then i'll actually watch the movie and have just as much trust issue as raya did :/

but i digress

A DISNEY MOVIE WITH SEA CULTURE AT ITS HEART AND SOUL

do you know how diverse sea culture is??? VERY

and one thing i was very happy to see was how raya handled it

it was by no means perfect but

the subtle shows of culture in the way the characters acted, and the environment of the movie was just CHEF'S KISS

not only that but the ideas the movie had in terms of its world and the people in it felt genuine, it felt alive

a dragon that isn't the typical fire-breathing lizard

characters who look like they could easily be my neighbours or children i've played with

instead of pandering to this movie felt like an actual homage to sea cultures

and for good reason bc seeing all those familiar names rolling in the credits had me feeling some type of way :")

also that fucking soundtrack gave me chills throughout my watch of the movie

okay now that we've got the things i actually like about the movie, let's talk about what i don't like

if there's one word i could use to describe disney's raya it would be: rushed

like i said in the beginning, all the groundwork for an astounding disney movie were already there

but all of it just goes to waste bc the plot and it's characters feel so Unfinished

the movie felt like a bullet-point presentation of the story

WHICH IS SO FUCKING DISAPPOINTING BC THE CHARACTERS SEEMED SO INTERESTING but all we got were shadows of what they could have been

cardboard cutouts of the archetypes they filled

i'm not asking for a bottomless well of depth, but i at least wanted more for the cast than just: angry misunderstood princess, angry misunderstood princess with an undercut, that one dancing kid from moana but with more spice, boss baby, and the mountain

and i get that they had to sacrifice some of their depth to keep the run time of the movie short but you have got to be better than this disney

i hate to compare but it felt like this movie tried to go beyond what moana gave us, and shot so far that it ended up back to where it started, and then stumbled back a few steps

AND IM NOT EVEN SAYING A DRAGON MOVIE WITH A BIG CAST IS IMPOSSIBLE

BC IT'S ALREADY BEEN DONE

HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON DID IT THREE TIMES

and you'd think the plot for one of the few disney movies with a non-western setting would have more than just a macguffin considering how batshit sea folk tales can be

but you'd think wrong folks.

GENUINELY IT FELT LIKE THEY WERE ATTEMPTING SOMETHING BUT WERE SHORT OF BRINGING IT TO FRUITION

sure moana had a macguffin too with the heart of te fiti, but the heart itself wasn't the heart of the movie

it was the journey of moana and maui

it was that BEAUTIFUL TWIST WITH TE KA AND TE FITI

ALL DELIVERED WITH A NATURAL FINESSE THAT HAD YOU ON THE EDGE OF YOUR SEAT

YOU WERE ALONG FOR THE RIDE OF THE STORY INSTEAD OF QUESTIONING EVERYTHING THAT WAS GOING ON LIKE I WAS

maybe this was just me but like, i felt so bad for the friend who watched this movie with me bc all i could go on and on was how the plot felt like it was getting in the way of itself

why didn't the different kingdoms (??) kept the gem in rotation or smth, when did they decide that heart would keep it and then get mad at heart for keeping it????

why didn't awkwafina dragon just show herself to the kingdoms bc everyone seems to be in agreement that dragons good right? that they would be the key to getting rid of the druun right??? SO THEY'D ALL AT LEAST HEAR HER OUT OR SMTH RIGHT????????

and yes raya has trust issues but it seems to only spring up at the most convenient times plot-wise, we didn't really see her learn to trust other people again OTHER THAN THE TIMES WHERE SISU WOULD HAMFISTEDLY SHOVE IT DOWN OUR THROATS THAT SOME PEOPLE ARE GOOD SOMETIMES RAYA

we see it with boun, but then she just trusts noi, her monkeys, and tong THE GUY WHO STRUNG THEM UP AND WAS THREATENING TO TORTURE THEM????????

i'm gonna be honest and say that if it weren't for namaari i'd have absconded the moment sisu came on screen

as far as i'm considered the actual plot of the movie is just the entire sword fight scene between her and raya

and finally

we get to the part i will be erasing from my brain for my own mental well-being

WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT DRAGON DESIGN

WHY OH WHY TH  E FUCK DOES SISU SOUND AND LOOK LIKE THAT

my friend said they looked like the ponies from mlp in 3d AND NOW I CAN NEVER UNSEE IT

THEY HAVE EYEBROWS THEY HAVE HUMAN FACES

HUMAN FACES ON MAJESTIC DRAGON BODIES

THE INTERNET HAS COLLECTIVELY DECIDED THAT SISU IS BASICALLY FURRY ELSA

every time we got a sisu close up i lost 5 years to my life

disney i am suing for damages

if you want me to drop the charges i demand raya 2: electric boogaloo but it’s just raya and namaari enemies to friends to lovers ark

and also for them to never say dragon nerds ever again

AGAIN. HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON GAVE US BEAUTIFUL DRAGON DESIGNS. HELL IF YOU WANTED MORE EASTERN LOOKING DRAGONS FUCKING SPIRITED AWAY??? HAKU??????????

AND YKNOW WHAT. SISU WOULDN'T EVEN LOOK THAT HORRIFIC IF THE MOVIE WAS IN 2D

im not the first person to be side-eying disney's decision to keep pumping out these 3d movies but like.

no amount of added dimensions could ever make that dragon design okay

and there so many more points i could go off on to show how this movie was rushed

how the other dragons, and even sisu's siblings whom she had been missing for the entire movie DIDNT MAKE A SINGLE SOUND???? NOT EVEN A FUCKING GROWL DISNEY???? DID YOU EVEN TRY WITH THE DRAGONS AT ALL??? THE SUPPOSED CENTRE OF THIS MOVIE'S PLOT?????????

HOW THE CHIEFS OF THE OTHER KINGDOMS WERE BASICALLY PLOT DEVICES????

THAT ONE CHIEF'S SKELETON WAS MORE INTERESTING THAN ANY OF THEM COMBINED ALIVE

kudos to that one granny chief though

u can never have enough bad ass old ladies

AND GOD THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS JUST FELT SO FORCED

ALONG WITH WHATEVER LESSON SISU WANTED TO IMPART ABOUT TRUST

LOVE THESE CHARACTERS THEY ARE FUNNY THEY ARE FRIENDS FOUND FAMILY

TRUST PEOPLE IF U WANT THEM TO TRUST U

TRUST PEOPLE OR ILL LITERALLY FUCKING KILL U

children aren't stupid disney. if you tell your story well enough, they'll pick up on the messages you want to give them. YOU DONT HAVE TO THRUST EVERYTHING IN OUR FACES

i was exhausted by the time i finished this movie

bc i really wanted to love it. i wanted to feel more for it than just: well, it's a movie :)

i dont hate this movie though like it's not even worth the energy for that

i think that ultimately, despite all my issues with it, this movie was a step in the right direction when it comes to having non-western stories being told by non-western people in big name productions

i'm glad raya and the last dragon exists

i just can't help but be dissapointed though bc this movie put so much effort into putting my people and culture at its forefront but at what cost???

good characters and story for a good setting and design????

does it have to be one or the other?????

DOES THE DRAGON HAVE TO HAVE EYEBROWS??????

[bringingglory]

@eerna oh my god acshdgagaahhdvsahsv I never expected you to see my post, so I won't lie, I feel like super embarrassed acsgsga

anyway! not gonna lie, this wip has been sitting in my drafts for months now because I wanted to see if I could plan stuff but then I got stuck because Details are hard to figure out BUT I did write out a few scenes, so I'll put them below the cut because they're kind of long. the first one is the "opening" of the fic and the second one is a sort of reimagining of the Silent Princess memory. i have a few other scenes sort of scribbled out, but these are the most "polished" of the stuff i've written alsdkfjasdfk

the opening lol

Link wakes to a faint buzzing in his ear that sends little darts of pain shooting through his skull. He waits for it to end, and when it doesn’t he groans and rolls over, smacking the space around him to find whatever was making that noise and make it shut up. He can’t fathom why his brain is rolling through his skull like that and why there’s an intense pressure behind his eyes, but when he rolls onto his side, he has to press a hand to his abdomen to settle whatever was sloshing around inside his stomach.

Ah. He’s hungover.

Link peels open his eyes and the light sends a fresh wave of pain ricocheting through his skull. He blinks once, twice, and then forces his eyes open to find a phone the size vibrating against the ground a few inches away from his hand.

Link groans and pushes himself up to a sitting position before grabbing the phone and dismissing the alarm. When the phone falls silent in his hands, he finally looks around and tries to assess the situation.

He’s sitting in a bathtub, the porcelain slightly damp from what he hopes is just water. His shirt smells vaguely of cheap vodka and he still can barely look at the sunlight streaming through the window without wincing.

A moment later, he realizes the phone in his hands isn’t his.

Link holds the phone up to his face and rubs the grogginess from his eyes. He swipes up on the screen, surprised that it isn’t protected by a password.

The phone is open on note in the notes app, and it reads:

link, if you’re reading this right now, im so sorry for leaving you in the tub like that!!! my dad’s supposed to come home from the office today and the document case i was telling you about is missing and he cant know i lost it. i know we just started getting along, and im so sorry to ask you this, but could you find the document case? impa’s in my contacts and she can help you. also you have permission to dig through my phone, just dont judge me if i have anything embarrassing on there. can you find the file by midnight? his flight leaves at 3 and i can stall him until then.

it’s 6:11 right now so i have to run before he gets back, but please hurry! i’ll be waiting for you

-zelda

Link blinks and turns the phone off.

Last night? What happened last night? Why can’t he remember anything?

Well, if his raging headache tells him anything, it’s that he had probably blacked out last night.

Link isn’t usually a drinker or a partier. He isn’t really one to go to big social events. So he’s really confused as to why he woke up passed out in a tub with zero memories.

And also, why Zelda left her phone with him.

a version of the Silent Princess memory but they're at a party and its modern

Zelda laughs. “I think I got a little too sober from the Yiga incident to enjoy the party now.”

Link isn’t sure if he’s supposed to laugh with her, but nods anyway. “Do you want to get some air?”

Zelda gives him an odd look, then sighs. “Yeah. Yes. That would be a good idea.”

Surprisingly, she grabs his forearm and leads him through all the bodies pressed against each other. He can feel the heat of her hand wrapping entirely around his arm like a hot glove, even above the heat of the late summer air and the heat from other people in close proximity.

Somehow, they make it to the other side of the house. Zelda pushes the back door open and pulls him past the other stragglers outside before they find a nice tree with a patch of grass that seems generally clear of alcohol and vomit.

Zelda releases his arm as soon as she finds the tree and she sits down, dropping her head against the trunk.

“Are you okay?” He asks.

Zelda waves her hand vaguely.

Link pauses. “Do you need water?”

“If you get me any more water, I’m probably gonna piss myself,” says Zelda. “Sit down.”

He sits down.

The crickets hum vaguely around them, mingling with the distant buzzing and thumping bass of the music from the party. But without people pressing in from all sides and an open field in front of them, it finally feels like he can take a full breath.

The silence settles over them like a blanket. It feels comfortable to him, but he isn’t sure if it’s supposed to be.

“Oh, Link, look.”

Link cranes his head to see Zelda twist around and point out a blue flower glowing vaguely in the dark. It was beautiful with blue petals so light they looked almost white, and a sky blue bleeding out from the center before fading out.

He wants to give her a questioning look, but she’s transfixed on the flower. He can see the smallest of smiles creeping up onto the corners of her mouth.

“It’s a Silent Princess,” she says. “It was my mom’s favorite flower.”

He can tell something important is happening, so he keeps his mouth shut.

“She said that we can’t grow them domestically yet, despite our best efforts.” Zelda breaks into a full smile and it’s radiant. “The Princess can only thrive out here. In the wild.”

They both turn to look back at the house as another loud WHOOP cuts through the air, followed by the sound of a can being crushed against a head.

“Nature is beautiful,” says Link.

Zelda swats him and he has to bite back a laugh.

She turns and runs a gentle finger along one of the petals before sighing and leaning back against the tree.

“Thank you,” she says suddenly. “For being there with the Yiga. And for being there the whole party.” He can hear her swallow. “I’m sorry for being a bitch.”

“You weren’t being a bitch,” says Link.

“I was, though.” Zelda inhales beside him. “I mean, just because I’m under a lot of stress from my dad doesn’t mean I’m allowed to take it out on other people. I was acting like a kid.”

“To be fair, your dad sounds like an asshole sometimes.”

Zelda snorts. “Yeah. He can be.” He turns his head to see her lean forward to fiddle with the grass. “But he’s got a lot on his plate. And it probably doesn’t help that his daughter doesn’t want anything to do with his ‘legacy.’”

“Just because your dad’s under a lot of pressure doesn’t mean he’s allowed to be an asshole,” Link points out.

Zelda finally looks up at him and offers him a small grin. “Fair enough.”

“And besides, you’re your own person. You don’t need to follow in his footsteps.”

“That’s what I said,” huffs Zelda. “But of course it’s, ‘blah blah you have a responsibility. I didn’t raise you like this so you could waste your time researching pointless things.’” She sighs. “It’s fine. It’s whatever. I came to this stupid party to blow off steam, I guess. But Goddess, I did not eat enough today to drink that many cans of shitty beer.”

Link sits upright, alert. “Do you need to get food or—”

“No, no, that’s fine.” And that smile returns and Link wonders what else he can say to make it stay. “You’re sweet. But I’ve probably gotten drunk enough tonight.” Her eyes slide up to him and the mischief in them stops his heart for a moment. “You still have to try the Hot Frog.”

Link blinked. “...what is that?”

--

the endings are abrupt on both of them just bc i wasn't entirely sure how to end them akldjfasd. also the "Hot Frog" is gonna be some kind of mixed drink that gets link really drunk -- me trying to allude more to the original memory from the game haha

anyway, thank you so much for the ask! and thank u for coming up with the shitpost because it made me laugh the first time i read it hasdklfj hopefully i'll continue this one day and do ur shitpost au justice!

[oscar-lettjohanssonloveme]

My Beautiful Girl (Cordelia Goode x plus-size!reader)

request: (by anon) May I request something for plus size reader x Miss Venable or Cordelia Goode? Thank you!

summary: somedays you feel really insecure in your body.

warnings: body insecurities

a/n: just a quick reminder: u are beautiful. uhm don't expect too much, its not that good(e) :’D

google translate :’D

"Honey?"

"Mhh?"

"Why are you wearing a bra?"

That was probably one of the weirdest questions Cordelia had ever asked you.

You turned around in confusion to look into the worried face of your girlfriend, who had climbed into bed and was now leaning over you,

"Why not?" You replied indifferently, even though you knew inwardly why she was confused.

"I uh- you never wear underwear under your pajamas," Cordelia explained as she brushed her own strand of hair from your face. You shrugged your shoulders.

"Lots of women do that," you said curtly, watching Cordelia narrow her eyes.

"Isn't that unhealthy or something like that?"

"Well I don't know," you muttered and looked away from her to stare at your bedside lamp.

"Google it, if you care."

You heard Cordelia sigh before reaching for your chin to force your gaze back to her.

"The only thing I care about is why you wear a bra now, you don't usually do that."

You rolled your eyes in annoyance.

"I can wear whatever I want. It's not a big deal. You- Delia, I'm really tired, okay? And I really don't feel like talking to you about what's under my pajamas."

Cordelia didn't answer and just looked at you for a few seconds. You hated it when she did that. Simply because you could never read that look and you never knew what was going on in her head.

Of course you had a reason you left your bra on, but you never would have wanted to tell Cordelia about it, simply because it was a very sensitive topic ... Self-love was weird. You always found, that you were someone, who had a lot of love to give, but strangely enough, it was never enough for yourself.

Usually you were in tune with your body, you accepted it and sometimes you even found yourself beautiful. But then there were days when all it took was a judgmental look, that suddenly made you feel ugly. You just wanted to be invisible and as small as possible on those days, but unfortunately, that was impossible because everything about you was so big. Your legs, your breasts, your stomach ... just big. Too big for your taste.

Those days you wanted nobody to see you. You couldn't even look at yourself without wanting to cry. Beauty was just a stupid illusion, like normally looking at yourself through a filter and then there were those days when that filter was suddenly gone and you saw reality. It was gross and definitely not a topic you liked to talk about.

And today was one of those days. And you'd just wanted to keep your stupid bra on, because it made you feel safe and you hoped to  hide your body under it. Although the whole thing was ridiculous, Cordelia was your girlfriend and had seen you naked so many times and besides, she was the last person who would judge you, you knew that. Unfortunately, the problem these days wasn't just, that you looked ugly.. Another problem was that Cordelia, the perfect Cordelia, could see you. And those days you just couldn't understand why she was wasting her time on you of all people.

"Of course you can wear whatever you want, I didn't mean to make you feel insecure," she said suddenly and pulled you out of your thoughts about your own ugliness. Your girlfriend leaned over to turn off your bedside lamp before leaning down and pressing her lips against your temple for a moment.

"Good night honey," she muttered.

You felt her lay down behind you before wrapping her arms around your waist. Bad idea.

Immediately you froze in her grip and inadvertently pulled in your stomach. For a few minutes the two of you lay there in silence, not realizing that you had been holding your breath, when Cordelia finally pulled back and switched the light back on.

"Okay, what's wrong?" She asked without sounding reproachful. You turned your head to her and saw, that she had leaned her back against the headboard.

God she was so beautiful it was almost a curse. The blonde angel curls that curled on her white nightgown. Her pure skin and then the brown eyes that glinted down on you with concern.

"Nothing is wrong," you mumbled as you sat up too, leaning against the headboard of the bed like her.

"I can see that something is", Delia replied and you tried to ignore her penetrating gaze by staring down into your lap.

"I am fine."

"You lie."

"I dont lie."

"Y / N, you are lying," Cordelia muttered, shaking her head.

"I thought we'd always be honest with each other."

You felt a little stitch in your chest when you heard her words, because she was right. Usually you always talked to her about the things that bothered you, just as she talked to you.

"I'm okay," you said, looking at her again to smile carefully.

"It's just .. you know, sometimes you have those days when all the disgusting comments, that people have ever made about you and that you have almost repressed crash into your brain and pull you down at the same time, don't you?" you asked and looked at her expectantly.

"I uh- actually not," Cordelia admitted honestly. You looked away from her again and shook your head. Of course she didn't know that. Cordelia looked so perfect and the things people said about you only applied to you, not to her.

"Is it again about that you are not a witch or what-?" Cordelia asked further.

"Jesus, no".

You nervously stared down at your fingers in your lap.

Actually, you would have told Cordelia about it, had you not only been so sensitive about this topic. It wasn't easy to admit how weak you actually felt in your body.

"Cordelia you are the supreme, you know everything anyway," you said desperately.

"That's really cute, honey, but I don't know everything and that's why I want you to talk to me, okay?"

Cordelia grabbed your hand and you just wanted to push it away. As if you with your strange body were worth for her touch.

You raised your eyes again to meet hers, which were filled with love.

Cordelia was your girlfriend and you loved her so much, that it was actually unfair that you were lying to her right now.

"It's my body," you said quietly. Unfortunately a little too quiet, because she couldn't hear you.

"What?", Delia asked confused as she ran her thumbs over the back of your hand. You swallowed and tried to blink away the tears that filled your eyes.

"My body, Cordelia," you said a little louder now.

"What's wrong with that?"

"Oh god".

You wanted to scream out loud, it was frustrating. It was obvious to you and you wondered if she was really that stupid or if she was just pretending to be.

"I just- I hate it, that's it," you finally hissed, lowering your gaze to your hand, which was still in hers. Cordelia's thumb, which had still rubbed the back of your hand lightly, stopped for a moment and you heard Cordelia let out a soft "Oh".

"Why don't you tell me that?" She asked in a low voice and you could hear the sadness in it.

"I don't know, it's complicated", you pinched the bridge of your nose with your free hand.

"It's not always like this, just some days."

"..and today is one of those days ?", added Cordelia and you nodded slowly.

"Oh honey" Cordelia sighed as she leaned forward to pull you into her arms, but you almost automatically jumped off the bed.

"Cordelia I- uhm .." you stuttered and crossed your arms over your chest.

"The problem isn't actually, that I hate myself on those days. You know, I'm always good enough for myself, but .."

You interrupted yourself and looked at Cordelia thoughtfully for a few seconds. It was actually ridiculous. You knew, that Cordelia chose you, even though she could have anyone. That meant that she still had to feel something for you. But for you it was just not understandable, simply because all you felt for yourself was hate. At least on days like this.

"But?" Repeated Cordelia, getting up from the bed to walk over to you, but still with enough distance.

"But you," you mumbled quietly without looking at her.

"You are so- i dont know, beautiful. And I'm so .. so ugly, I guess? You can see that it is kind of weird, right?"

You looked back at your girlfriend, which was a bad idea. Cordelia looked at you so sadly, that you immediately regretted telling her that. Actually, it was a stupid decision. It was much easier to live, when people thought you were happy in your body and now you had openly shown Delia how weak and vulnerable you actually were and that because of something you couldn't change. It was your body, the weird thing that you always had to carry around with you, even though you would like to lock it in your closet.

"You are beautiful, Y / N," Delia suddenly said firmly. But it felt like a lie. If your perception made you feel like you were ugly, then she could only lie.

"Cordelia, thats-" you started in a thick voice, but she interrupted you to repeat her words.

"You're beautiful."

The pain these words caused in you was indescribable.

On the one hand, that was what you wanted to hear. You were an woman, who needed a lot of confirmation. Yet on the other hand, you knew it was a lie. As if Cordelia had sinned when those words left her tongue.

"You .. you don't have to say this to make me feel better," you muttered and Cordelia shook her head.

"I'm not saying this to make you feel better. I'm saying this, because it's the truth. Y / N, you're beautiful and you have no idea how sad it makes me to see, that you can't understand this."

"I don't know," you sighed. "It's actually stupid."

"Oh yeah it's stupid, when you say you are ugly when you are actually so beautiful. You have to believe me, Y / N. I would never lie to you. And besides, if I found you unattractive, we wouldn't be here now."

Cordelia crossed her arms over her chest and looked at you again.

"Maybe you're just doing this out of pity," you said and immediately realized how stupid it all sounded.

"Pity?" Cordelia repeated with raised eyebrows and you just nodded.

The blonde took a step towards you and before you could react, she held your face between her hands.

"You are beautiful, Y / N," she repeated her words for the third time.

"You are so many things, but definitely not ugly. And even if you can't see that, you have to trust me, that I would never lie to you and I think, that you are perfect the way you are, do you understand?"

Your face was only a few inches from hers and you could look straight into her brown eyes. And while you couldn't really believe Cordelia's words, she was right: she definitely wasn't going to lie to you.

"Whenever you have one of those days,, I want you to come to me right away. I want us to work together, to make you feel good in your body and that you don't have to feel like you have to hide from me and therefore keep your bra on at night. You are so beautiful Y / N and you deserve to know, that's why I want you to talk to me about it, no matter how uncomfortable it is for you. I love you so much and I want you to be able to love yourself too. "

Cordelia was still staring at you and you noticed, that she hadn't blinked a single time while she was speaking. As if she knew what magic there was in her beautiful eyes.

"Okay," you finally mumbled and immediately her gaze relaxed.

"Thank you darling".

"You don't have to say thank you," Cordelia said, smiling gently.

"That you are beautiful is a fact and not a decision or an opinion."

"Thank you anyway, your words mean a lot to me."

You leaned over carefully to kiss her gently. Your hands fell on her hips while she still held your face in her hands.

"You are so so beautiful, honey," Cordelia whispered against your lips and repeated her words again as she ran her thumbs over your cheeks.

"Do you feel safe enough to finally take off your bra now?"

You pulled back and looked at her uncertainly for a moment.

"Only if you want and if you are fine with it," Delia added and you nodded slowly.

Cordelia smiled gently.

"Great". she muttered.

"May I-?"

She pointed to the corner of your nightgown and again you nodded slowly before you felt Delia carefully grabbing the hem of your nightgown to pull it over your head.

You could hear Delia throwing the nightgown on the floor next to you. Her cool fingers wandered behind your back to unhook your bra, which also slid to the floor.

"I love every inch of your skin, so please don't hide from me," Cordelia whispered as she put her hands on your hips and started rubbing your skin with her thumb.

"My beautiful girl."

[sirenofthegreenbanks]

the "han ying shows up and kills himself out of love" storyline has started and i have thoughts

or: me ping-ponging the entire situation around in my head and examining it from every angle

(putting it under the cut, its gotten long!!! i have Feelings about this aa!!)

everytime han ying and zhou zishu chat i wonder if things could be easier if zhou zishu were a bit more candid about what he means. i mean he very clearly and undeniably tells han ying oftentimes that his life is precious and he should not waste it on zhou zishu. so clearly han ying underestimating what he means to zhou zishu, what value he has at all as a person, is not because zhou zishu didnt do his utmost to communicate it to him.

but im pretty certain that f.e. if zhou zishu would explain why han ying's hunt for the glazed armour specifically is such a stupid thing to do, han ying would probably understand him better and maybe do something else, something that doesnt cost his own life. then again, zhou zishu rejecting the glazed armour is a big part of him not wanting to live, as he doesnt actually know yet, at the time they last see each other, why betting on the mysterious ying-yang book is a bad idea; he only learns that later from long que and doesnt see han ying anymore until he shows up covered in blood. there is simply no way to tell han ying about what a bad idea it is until its too late.

but there is another reason why zhou zishu is rejecting the armoury's mysterious treasures, and that has to do with his worldliness and his experience with such things. nothing is ever as good as it sounds. in word of honor, such magical artifacts and secret techniques won''t solve the true problem, and zhou zishu knows that. he is (understandably) wary, which is later then confirmed to be a good idea. he could have told han ying that a bit more clearly, and as han ying's former superior and the one who taught him everything, han ying might have taken him seriously.

i do wonder if han ying is already aware of what a bad idea it actually is. han ying has served powerful man all his life and was carefully groomed to die in their service, so his worldliness and experience is a bit hazy. its difficult to say what his own thoughts are regarding the matter, we dont see enough of him to know that. its hard to say whether he would have betted everything he has on the glazed armour just to save zhou zishu, if the person in question were anyone else. he seems to lose his brains whenever zhou zishu is involved lmao. in his scenes we see han ying always in a role of service, never his own person, so its hard to say. judging by his attitude, he is either fully convinced the glazed armour truly is the key of all keys (heh!) or he is truly that desperate.

whatever it is, han ying can tell that zhou zishu doesnt want to live. between all the uncertainties, that is the single sure thing. he can tell that zhou zishu would have said no, no matter what. zhou zishu's relationship with wanting to live and choosing to die is very complicated, he hasn't truly figured out himself yet what he wants for most of the show. han ying meets him only in these uneasy moments, so he naturally only knows zhou zishu in a perpetuate state of depression and uncertainty. a zhou zishu who denies his own worth and value to other people, people like han ying.

maybe han ying wanting to save zhou zishu has a big part to do with han ying trying to prove to zhou zishu how important zhou zishu is to him. he's saying, "look! i would do everything for you not to die, can't you see how much i treasure you? can't you tell how worthy and loved you are?" this is especially impactful because han ying only knows zhou zishu in his worst moments. he has never seen zhou zishu the sect leader or zhou zishu the filial eldest disciple. he only knows zhou zishu from tian chuang, leader of assassins and spymaster. and he still loves and adores him.

and yes, a big part of that is likely filial piety. but it is also zhou zishu himself. and maybe zhou only sees the former, and has a difficult time acknowledging and believing the latter. and maybe thats why han ying is so desperate and would do anything to show him.

so maybe it wouldnt have changed anything after all, if zhou zishu had been a bit more candid, considering that zhou zishu's desire to die is so big it would have blotted out everything else, be it pragmatism or reason. and han ying seems to desperately want to save zhou zishu at all costs, even from himself. han ying still might have chosen the path he walks and that leads him to his death, and zhou zishu might have still ended up with one wen kexing intending to save han ying at the expense of himself, and one dead han ying.

but what always sticks out to me is that zhou zishu can not fully open himself to han ying; he is still entangled in that role of being han ying's superior whom han ying is very filial to, whom he adores. he is trying to lead his own life, but han ying (and the way zhou zishu has left tian chuang behind) make it very hard for him.

im pretty sure this could be solved if zhou zishu were more candid and would treat han ying like just any other person, someone he can meet on eye level. but that might be hard for him, because han ying's adoration is so heavy, zhou zishu, who always believes he is not worthy of such faith anymore, is so uncomfortable with it he would rather han ying fucks off. he also wants han ying to lead his own life, and he views han ying adoring zhou zishu still as han ying binding his own fate to a sinking ship. to zhou zishu, han ying's continued loyalty must be like another sign of zhou zishu's faliure; he cant even save han ying from this.

this is especially notable when you contrast zhou zishu's relationship with han ying with how zhou zishu is with wen kexing. these two are equals, and for better or worse, wen kexing has been witness to zhou zishu's journey. he knows everything there is. zhou zishu doesnt have to be candid, wen kexing understands and sees him. but they still talk openly, they show each other their worst, and then they make up about it. they go through it.

zhou zishu doesnt allow han ying to go through it with him, he mistakenly believes he is holding han ying back. he thinks, the more he sends him away, and the less he allows this loyalty and connection to grow, the better it is for han ying. so han ying runs after him, and zhou zishu keeps all the important words hidden. and maybe those important words wouldnt have changed things at all, or might have made it even worse. its truly hard to say.

honestly, han ying dying feels a lot like it couldnt have been avoided no matter what. i like to imagine that things get easier when you communicate better and allow others to through it with you, but in this case, han ying's and zhou zishu's roles seem to make it impossible for them to ever reach the kind of honesty zhou zishu cultivates with wen kexing. there is just too much zhou zishu hasnt fully confronted yet, too much pain and too much guilt. and han ying is never truly arround, for them to really see each other where they are.

i love wkx so much he is so pretentious and absolutely unaware of how weird he comes off as. its adorable. these moments when he tries to give a grandiose impression like some elegant gentleman, refined yet competent, and it just doesnt land as he thought it would be, are so human. hes so cute

[iamthatmf-donttestme]

WAS ANY OF IT TRUE ???

(wrath and emilia had an argument earlier and the argument is getting them nowhere but neither of them will let it go and would say the other person is right but with a✨twist ✨ at the end

P.S:I WOULDN'T EXACTLY CALL IT A TWIST BUT....HERE YOU GO )

He smirks ..the audacity this demon has !!

"Hush witch you're making a scene out of nothing"

"ok listen demon none of this would be a problem and i wouldn't be yelling if u just say that u are wrong and apologise ".

One of his brows arched perfectly ,tilting his head slightly he said"Hmm ,i don't remember starting this conversa-argument which u are clearly trying to have one with me out of spite"

I scoffed "Out of spite .Curse my already cursed life .You ,demon, very well know that we would not be having this argument if it weren't for you".

"Me??? Im the reason for you wasting my time ???"

"Oh miei dei ...wasting your time !!!Do you think that it is ideal for me that I wanted to waste my time with YOU instead of finding my sister's murderer who might be out there while trying to stay alive in a demon realm- THE HELL ..."my voice trailed off .

I didn't take note of when he started to move towards me with something in his eyes something that i could not decipher his gaze held something so pure ..but with the wicked you can never be sure so i knew i want going to let him off the hook this easily .Hesitantly i spoke ".......for all i know me wasting your time will only save another girl's soul if you've made a similar deal with any one of your brothers like u did with PRIDE "but my words came out in a broken tone .

For all the times i thought that Wrath was the only person i could be with amidst all the folly in life ,the one who ran me a bath with my favourite flowers after LUST broke me even though it was for his own gain but still he was there wasn't he and i still don't know why he did what he did when he knew how much I -

I was pulled away from my thoughts when a pair of big,warm palms covered both of my wrists placing them on his chest ;I can feel his heart pounding against his chest like rain on the windows on those stormy days in SEA AND VINE ;the thought of home bringing more tears .But it incited more anger in me and i knew that it wasn't his doing .I don't know how mama,nonna,papa are doing where they are,and if they're safe . And WRATH reminding me a lot of home .....I've always known that home was not a place but a feeling and he was giving me that ..the wicked !!!the malgavi!!! i should be scared of him shouldn't i?? i shouldn't feel this way ;hes a demon he will make a fool out of me the second he wants to get something from me like a heartless creature like those girls like Vittoria and I still haven't found the murderer but here i am feeling home ,feeling safe in the presence of the demon that broke my trust but i cant help it neither can i stop feeling guilty ...I-

"Do you think it's was easy for my ..is easy for me Emilia ?.." he said ,his words putting a stop to the chaos in my head but at the same time i couldn't help but wonder what he meant so i asked him .

"Breaking your trust ,putting you in a situation where u had to push me away ,being so close to you yet so far from you ???Do u think i want this ??ANY OF THIS ??"

"What do you want then ??"I questioned him.

"YOU .You being near me ,your warmth ,you beautiful smell surrounding me ,your lips saying my name .ANYTHING .I would give anything to have that .Before i made this absurd deal i didn't know how much of a big part you would become of me .But trust me EMILIA i cannot back down from this deal even if i wanted to ...But i will get you out of this ..just trust me ...I will come and get you when the time is right and help you attain you goal until then I pity PRIDE and his servants "he said ."You don't need me protection to tackle the wicked if you just think about their strategy and your reaction as strategy to theirs.Just think rationally ."

"But u promising me that u will get me out of here without being hurt by your brothers is thinking irrationally ,Wrath and that isn't like you- THE DEMON PRINCE OF WAR"

"The thing is ,my dear witchy EMILIA,I cant seem to think rationally when it comes to you which is I know very unlikely me .Do you really want to go back to ITALY ,the human realm .....would you go if you had a chance ???"he asked .

The promises he made the words that came out of his mouth the truth his heavenly beautiful golden eyes reflected ...I couldn't think properly and I started to feel dizzy as his words started echoing through my ears making my heart pound .He was the same WRATH the one who saved me that night in front of me .My fingers caressed his chest right where his heart was pounding underneath my touch .

But before i could say anything i saw a reflection on his golden eyes a figure standing still behind a column without knowing that actual meaning of spying and i couldn't risk it so i said,

"Yes i would but there is no other way not a chance for me to do that so don't waste your precious time on me while you could be cursing the world with your presence". I spat and yanked my hands off from his wrists that held mine over his chest .And after hearing those words he looked ....proud??T he figure seemed to have moved away and Wrath looked restless and i turned to look who that was but Wrath moved forward only to see that there was no one there .

"Congratulations, witch. You are using that small brain of yours I see and you can thank me any time for being that great of a teacher "he said proudly.

"Wrath ,was any of it true ...any one of the words you said to me ...was it true ..or .....??"i trailed off

He opened and closed his mouth .And he closed his eyes and took a deep breath as if choosing his words carefully ,he said,in a vulnerable tone "You will know when the time is right witch ."

"Think rationally wrath .If making promises that you cannot fulfill is your strategy then it is predictable like the sun rising every morning "

Just before he could say anything his brother ,my betrothed,PRIDE's trusted messenger made a dramatic entrance .

WRATH bent down to my ear and whispered "Silly witch ,I don't make promises I cant keep ."I scoffed at that.

"You will see that in the future .....u adorning a throne that doesn't belong to anyone of my brothers and another teacher's tip all your moves are being watched just like we were being ALMOST the entire time " he whispered only for me to hear . ALMOST the entire time what was that supposed to mean ???Before i could ask him about it a large palm rested on my back and i looked to see PRIDE glaring at his brother and WRATH glaring back at him but stopped once he noticed i was watching him and changed his gaze into his signature cold one .

"Prince WRATH spending your time with OUR QUEEN . "PRIDE'S messenger said.

"She maybe BETROTHED to your KING but she is still a member of my house and i always make sure what's mine stays protected"WRATH shrugged.

"Oh Your highness don't you worry she will be protected ...BY YOUR BROTHER "

"Oh for the sake of the goddesses stop it .I don't need any protection from anyone of you .If you two doltish demons think that I need protection remember that I summoned a demon prince on my own and have powers of my own .And if someone needs anyone here keep in mind that you BOTH need me ".

At the sound of my voice ringing through the place PRIDE'S messenger turned completely facing me and WRATH gave me a subtle nod when i made my point .

"It is my order and my honour to keep you safe my queen ."with that pride's messenger moved towards me and held his hand out as a gesture saying after you started walking me down the corridor ,taking me wherever his destination was .I took smaller steps so i could be in the presence of the devil i knew than the one i didnt.

But i couldn't help but wonder if anything ANYTHING wrath said were true .If we were being watched almost throughout our moment and wrath does not make promises he cant keep then when did the spy start spying on us .

I turned to look back at wrath only to see him glaring at messenger knowingly .And the messenger smirked at me .

"Oh don't fuss , my .It was me .All me .You see the KING had a feeling WRATH might be turn you into a weapon of his ,destroying US from the inside turns out and he was right "he gloated ." Prince Wrath calling you by your first name as if he had done than before and will ever consider calling you that let alone calling you with endearments."

I wanted to laugh soo badly at that .He did call me EMILIA by my name in front of fratello Antonio .MY EMILIA he said .Heat rushed to cheeks at that memory.But i did not say anything and continued to played along.

"How long were you there ?" I asked .

"Oh right when he called DEAR WITCHY EMILIA and I knew you had your limpidity intact when you turned him down .Our brilliant Queen ". He said .His words were like a splash of cold water to my face ,i did not have my sanity intact when wrath said that .

"when did u leave and make your appearance again ??" i asked

"Oh i left the second you turned him down ,to go to our KING and tell that his brother thought that he could trick you and came back when i did ".He answered .The thing about the messenger was that he once said he wouldn't lie to if not necessary(i.e if pride approved and that is the necessity-his king's approval) and i was sure that he wasn't lying about this because he thought he won he thought he knew all that happened,his pride at its peak.

But the important thing is that if i had to choose between wrath or pride it will be wrath because devil you know than the devil you dont .And I knew that if I had a way to survive in hell it is to play with pride while still feeling wrath's presence .

When i looked back again at wrath who leaned against a column just few steps away , i only saw the wickedly ,sickening,cunningly beautiful smirk adorning his face like the messenger has just thought what he wanted him to think .

And when he saw me he only gave me an angelic smile making my heart race .

He mouthed 'sono fiero di te' (I'm proud of you ).It was as if him and i had an understanding without words to convey them and i knew that if i am to survive in hell i should be cunning like the rest like weighing in on wrath's impromptu plan to save myself tonight and my freedom which i must have in order to bring justice to the murders of those innocent girls .

AND IM SOO SORRY THAT MY FIRST FIC IS THIS LOONNGG I WAS JUST IN THE MOMENT IG BUT FEEL FREE TO TELL ME HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT THIS ONE .

i m not soo sure about my writing might take it down later ig but imma post it anyways soo plz dont be mean.

[hellolonelytorment]

Traitor theory( warring manga spoilers)

Ok so I know I’m late getting on the band wagon for the traitor theory but this like piped in my head at like 2am so I’m writing it down. I have seen a bunch of theories bouncing around and I’m going to write my own first things first I don’t think the traitor is reporting to Shigarki I think there reporting to All for one. While that’s said I can elite the traitor with this photo

Ok so this photo is when kirishaim and todoroki revel there’s a tracker. Now the tracker plays a big part but first let me tell you who I’m remitting right of the bat.

Kirishima

We saw Kirishima backstory witch is him mostly having confidence issues but that a Problem for another day. Anyways back to the point it Doesn’t make because when would he have time to Join the villains we’re shown he debating his choice on going to U.A until he sees the video of crimson riot. If he was working with the league he would have gone to U.A very quickly because it’s his mission. He also was the one to suggest the idea of rescuing bakugo if he was sort of the rogue it would be a hug no.Hence why I don’t think it’s Kirishima.

Momo

Momo is another character who could not be a traitor. One Momo is the one who made the tracker to but on the numuo (did I spell that right?) the league mission is to capture bakugo it wouldn’t make sense for them to try a trap witch doesn’t make sense with kidnapping bakugo its also just two risky to try. Momo also told all night about the tracker witch she could have like not done at all. Second Momo was a part of the bakugo rescue squad she goes with them so I’m emitting her right of the

Midoriya/ Bakugo

I shouldn’t need to explain this he’s the main character it would make like no sense what so ever. Bakugo was kidnapped by the league and he has a very passionient goal of becoming number one he also a big part of the series so doubt he’s the traitor it would also make no sense.

Todoroki

Ahh daddy issues a point of todoroki arc along with mommy issues and now evil dead brothers.

Todoroki seems to really hate his father after everything he was put through (he has a right to) if he really wanted to get back at his father he could become a spy but it doesn’t add up with todoroki arc and we saw glimpses of his backstory witch give him a Motive but he seem like he just wants to suppress his father and he helps save all might from the nomad adding on to that he threatens the thugs on what there plan to do for all might. Why would he do that if he was a traitor? Todoroki was also let of the bakugo rescue mission witch cancels him out.

Iida

He was part of the bakugo rescue mission witch elements him as well. Iida also went after stain after hurting his brother it’s said that stain and the league were kinda working together but not really. Why would iida go after someone he supposed to be working with it doesn’t add up. Iida also has A very strong sense of right and wrong and seems to stick by that but sometimes his heart speaks kinder then his head. But I’m eliminating him.

Aoyama

He’s not the traitor. I’m gonna flat out sat that. But I do thing Aoyama has a faint idea who the traitor is. He a loner and he wasn’t in the cafeteria when the press stormed in it even go into leangth that he sits alone and eats alone. So I definitely think Aoyama who sitting and eating lunch might have got a glimpse of the traitor. So i don’t think it Aoyama but I do think he knows who the traitor is. aoyama saved Tokoyami and tried to save bakugo by blasting compress in the face. He could have by all means stayed hidden in the bush and no one would have thought he was there it would have been perfect. But instead he risked it all to save Tokoyami and bakugo so he been eliminated.

Tokoyami

He is seen in this photo and he could be a candidate for a traitor but if you have read the manga you would non about his rescue for hawks witch he got like a leg burned badly or something. So I’m crossing him off the list for that incident and also the USJ and the training camp were he lost control of dark shadow.

Mineta

Yeah no, he more used as comic relief more then anything so I doubt he would be a traitor. It also wouldn’t effect anyone.

Thirteen

She was part of the USJ attack and helped defend the kids and was All most killed by Kurogiri again if she the traitor it wouldn’t make sense for her to be almost killed or try to save the students as she did. She also would know that all might wouldn’t be there She also is a very Minor character her traitor revealed wouldn’t impact the adicance.

Aizawa

I don’t know why I have to explain this but here we go. The dude littelry almost died like he had his elbow decayed away around it and ugh. His quirk was also damaged witch makes it weaker. Like why would you try to kill your spy and damage your quirk. Also did I mention he almost died (manga spoilers he not the traitor)

Midnight

Same as thirteen she a minor character and if you have read the manga you would know she not doing to hot. Midnight also didn’t know the location of the summer camp. (Manga spoilers in recent arc she mostly kicked the bucket so yeah)

President Mic

Hes a well liked side character and it would be a twist if he was a traitor but to me it doesn’t make any sense he also doesn’t know were the summer camp was I believe. I know because he mentioned the traitor that makes him suspicious but why would he draw supisciom to himself. Also due to vigilantes and what was reviled in that I’m crossing mic out.

All might

The league what the dude dead. Why work for the people who want you dead? It makes no sense

Class 1B

None of them are the traitor I have heard the theory of monamo being the traitor but I don’t think that would be likely.

Ok so now who are possibly here’s who we eliminated so far.

Ok so know I’m going into possibilities but who most likely isn’t and how I’m going to decide this is by recent events in the manga also this photo from above.

This is the moment when the tracker is reviled to the class and what there plan is to rescue bakugo. Right off the bat who do we not see.. jirou, hakgure, Momo. We already eliminated Momo so we’ll go on to who the possibility are but not likely.

Sero/Sato/ojiro/Kuoda

I’m grouping these four together for one reason we do t really know anything about them and neither really dose the audience say any of these four were the traitor it would not be a big emotional impact on us so there all eliminated.

Uraraka

I heard a theory going around we’re uraraka could be a traitor and I honestly think it’s a possible and it would make sense.

I don’t think she the traitor for one reason her parents. Ok so here me out Uraraka whole thing is she wants to help her parents live an easy life. She becomes a hero for the money is her reasoning. And I guess you could say uraraka could be bribed with money to go on the villains side but honestly that doesn’t seem like something she would do. Her fight with toga during the training camp also made me think she couldn’t be a traitor. And maybe reasoning for uraraka are weird here but let me explain. Toga took uraraka blood. Witch is weird in my opinion. If there on the same side why would toga take her blood? Simple no reason uraraka would most likely give toga her blood if needed. So I know that’s not sound reasoning but it just stuck out to me. Agina with manga spoilers there was a sense in the manga were it was pretty much just uraraka and toga fighting no one around.

Asui

I know people think she could be the traitor but I just don’t see it. Shigarki almost killed her and if Aizawa hadn’t stop his quirk she would be a pile of ashes. Now I mentioned before that the traitor reports to all for one but not Shigarki but I do believe Shigarki has a faint idea on who the traitor is. And Audi seems to be smart enough to to know once he tried to kill her that she would back away from it.

Mina

Ok so Mina is in this photo and she knows about this tracker and she close friends with bakugo. We get to know a little bit about her through Kirishima POV when she stoops a bunch of bully’s and saves her friend from a villain. Honestly that’s the only evidence I could find on her there nothing really for or against her.

Kaminari

I personally don’t think he a traitor but there is evidence on both ways. But due to recent manga events (he’s not dead but like savoy injured) I do not think he’s the traitor and it just doesn’t make sense to me why kamianri would be the traitor though we do know very little about him so I guess it possibly but I dont think it him. He might have been the traitor and later quit being the traitor.

Hagkure

She also not in this photo. I know what your going to say she the invisible girl she could sneak around. Ok but here me out the traitor had to know about the tracker. Why? All for one was prepare for the hero’s when they attacked the warehouse and as I mentioned above the traitor report to all for one not Shigarki. Hagkure was also nocked out by mustered gas she could not have know about the tracker.

Jirou

She was also nocked out by Musters gas so she could not have know about the tracker so she couldn’t be the traitor we also see her parents who are both musicians I belive. So she in the clear

So we narrowed it down so who do we have left???

Shoji

Ok so here me out I can explain. He’s the one I think is the traitor why? Simple he already serves to be the traitor the guy who wrote bnha mentioned he had a shoji arc planed out. But that’s not enough evidence so here the evidence my sleep deprived brain gather

Makes sure he's not in detention for summer camp so he can make things run smoothly. Funnily EXACTLY in the middle of the class as far as grades, not the best and not the worst. Perfect to stay out of notice.

He wasting seen at the hot springs in this sense could be making a phone call to someone.

Ok so here where it gets tricky he was injured during the summer camp. I don’t think the league members know who the traitor is. Why? In case they get kidnapped they won’t give up the information.

So moon fish could have attacked them without looking suspicious. in regards to dark shadows when Tokoyami lost control he was just standing there until he ran into Midoriya.

Also Think about it, what else was shouji doing? He knew that he could move dark shadow with sound so why wasn't he moving darks shadow away from base camp, we can see from the map that shouji was actually moving dark shadow CLOSER to the epicentre.

Also How the fuck did he not hear Tokoyami and bakugo being kidnapped?? This guy could hear bare feet on give flours up!!

When mr compress loses Tokoyami and backugo, shouji could have grabbed both, he has multiple arms, he could have easily grabbed them both. He only grabbed Tokoyami (who wasn’t even the main focus of the mission) giving him the perfect allaby as someone that tried to save them and managed rescue someone while letting their TRUE objective be taken.Another thing Shoji room is bare in case he needs to get up at a moments notice.

Quirk

His quirk allows him heightened hearing, can easily overhear light footsteps through multiple walls and floors as show in the training exercise. This means he could easily eavesdrop on teachers and all might from rooms away.

Also what’s under his mask (maybe he’s all for ones secret love child or something and that’s why he wears a mask!!!)

My biggest evidence

This poem is where shojii got his name from its a poem and re read the lines “beware the man you think you know” sounds suspicious huh.

This is my evidence that shoji octopus dude is the UA traitor and before you say the guy who wrote my hero academia forgot the traitor I would like to say this man had literally planned out everything so no.

[wolferals]

✨UNDER MY SKIN(S)✨

james cook x reader

„Y/n, friend." your mom shouted from downstairs. You were still busy with your english homework as you got interrupted. A sigh leaving your lips you got up from your desk to walk down to the door. Who of your friends would show up on a Tuesday night at 9pm when they knew you were busy doing schoolwork?

As your head shot around the corner you let out a frustrated moan.

The brown haired boy grinned sheepishly as he had his hands behind his back. „Cook." you spoke and approached the interrupter of your busy night.

„Hello y/n. Looking stunning."

Looking down at yourself you realized you were only wearing a big sweatshirt and some knitted socks to keep you feet warm. You were not wearing pants at all, and your hair was up in a messy bun.

„What do you want? I'm busy." You snapped at him but he just kept on smiling.

„I wanted to see if you were up for some fun. Freds and J are twats and studying for the exam tomorrow. Eff's a bit of a headache at the moment and Naomikins wont answer the door." He explained and rested his arm on the doorframe.

„Cook, as I said, I'm busy."

He made his lip tremble a bit, making you roll your eyes at him. „Come on y/n/n, just for an hour or two. I promise I dont got any drugs this time. I just dont wanna be alone right now. I'm going through something."

You again rolled your eyes at this jackass and joked:"Did Effy not wanna fuck you tonight? I'm really sorry. But fuck, fine. I just gotta get dressed. Come in and close the door behind you."

Like a little kid he let out a happy laugh as you walked upstairs, noticing that Cook was following you.

„Hello? Privacy? Also my mom won't like you being in my room with me, at that time especially."

He closed the door to your room and started looking around while you rummaged through your closet.

„You got a nice room y/n/n. Why havent I been in here?"

He asked and played with your dreamcatcher.

„Well because you're a dick Cookie? And I dont like dicks in my room."

-„Thats cool, but hey now you got one in your room. A big one. One that could make you feel real good."

He started laughing and pointed at his crotch. „Fuck you Cook. Turn around."

You quickly took off your sweater and threw on a white cardigan and paired it with a pair of some wide legged jeans.

„Okay I'm done." you then spoke and watched Cook scan your body from head to toe. „Looks cute."

You were surprised by his choice of words but didn't complain. Smiling, you grabbed your stuff and you two headed downstairs.

„Mom, I'll have to help Cook with something real quick, I'll be back in an hour."

You were about to open the front door when your mom stood in the hall. „Where are you going?" She asked, a serious expression on her face.

„Just around the block. I promise I'll be back soon."

Cook just stood there and watched you and your mom discuss but suddenly spoke up:"Ms y/l/n, I promise I'll have her back in exactly one hour. I'll take care of her, nothing will happen to your daughter I swear."

You stared at him in disbelief. That Cook new words like „I promise" or „I'll take care" shocked you a bit.

„Fine. One hour. You have a test tomorrow sweetheart, have that in mind." Your mom finally let you go and Cook didnt waste any more time slipping through the door outside, pulling you with him.

„Wow your mum seems..."

-„I know." you scoffed and shut the door.

Cook took a deep breath as well.

„So you ready for the exam tomorrow?" He then asked.

Walking down the dark street you shrugged your shoulders at him. „I think so but to be honest I was too tired to make anything stay in my brain tonight."

He laughed lightly and replied:"Welcome to my world."

You gave him a quick glance before continuing to walk through the darkness.

It didnt make you uncomfortable being with Cook, even though in fact this was your first time being alone. You simply didn't know what to say to him. He was just too different from you.

„You wanna have some fun?" He broke the silence suddenly as you two walked towards a big building.

„Sure; whats that though?"

He gave you a devilish smirk. „Ever really partied before?"

You shook your head while Cook grabbed your hand to pull you towards the building. His hand was bigger than yours. And it was warm, it felt nice holding someone's hand. You'd never had a boyfriend to touch you but that little thing you got from him there was really nice though.

„Cook what is this place?" you asked when the red lights hit you right in the face. „You're gonna love it." He smiled at you, still holding your hand.

Once down in the basement you two met a bunch of people lining up in front of a big door.

You spotted a bouncer at front letting certain people in.

„I just need you to do one thing. Could you please flirt with that man so we can get in easier? They dont really like me here that much, you need to work with those."

Cook pointed at your boobs.

„Are you kidding?" You asked him, not believing a word he just said. „Please, I really think you'd like it, plus we dont got too much time left. I need to get you home in 40 minutes so just show him your tits and we can have some fun."

You scoffed at him but eventually pulled him up to the bouncer. The guy was around 25, attractive he was for sure but you didnt really know what to say.

„Oh you again, why dont you fuck off?" He looked at Cook.

You gave Cookie a serious look and then turned back to the bouncer. „Hi, I'm sorry I've never been here before; and my friend just told me I'd have a lot of fun in there. Dont you think you could let us in, please?" You gave him your puppy eyes and lightly bit your lip.

He looked inbetween you two and spoke:"This your girlfriend?" He was obviously speaking to Cook.

He just shook his head and you answered:"No sir he's not. We're just here to have fun. I promise we won't be here for long, just a bit of fun. Please sir?"

He breathed out and opened the door behind you. „Alright then sweetheart. And you, dont come here again after tonight." Cook grinned and pulled me inside the club, speaking a „cheers" to the bouncer before coming closer to my ear due to the loud music.

„Promise one thing y/n. Have fun. Let it all go and be free. Just for now."

You looked up at him, his face being lit by the colorful lights. He again smiled at you. „I promise." was all you said before basically jumping into the middle of the dance floor and letting yourself go. A upbeat song was playing and you just started jumping and dancing with Cook as if there was no tomorrow. He seemed to enjoy it as much as you did because he was laughing. You'd never seen him so cheerful and genuinely happy.

„Cookie?" you yelled against the loud music and grabbed onto his neck. „Thank you so much for bringing me here!"

He nuzzled his head in your neck and placed a soft kiss against your skin. „Just let go." You held onto his neck and danced with him again. His forehead rested against yours and your eyes kept locked. It felt like the world around you two had stopped. It felt like Cook and you were the only thing that mattered, as if it cured every worry in your body.

And before you could think about it, you pulled him close and placed your lips onto his. He kissed you back immediately but his kiss was different than you'd expected. It was softer, much more passionate that you'd ever imagined. His hands grabbed you by the waist until you let go of him and smiled brightly.

„Take me home Cook." He licked his lips and nodded as you two made your way through the crowd to the exit door.

Once the noise had quiet down and the only thing you could feel was your own heavy heartbeat and the cold air hitting you, you leaned against the wall. Cook did the same and let out a soft giggle.

„Did you have fun?" He asked and turned his head to look at you. „A lot." You smiled happily.

„Good. Yeah, good."

He stepped closer and placed both his hands on the wall next to your head. He looked down at you and licked his lips once again. „We still got 19 minutes. Sure you wanna go home now?"

Before you got to answer he had kissed you again. It felt too good to be true, his lips moving in perfect sync with yours. His hand on your neck and your hands in his hair.

He truly was a fantastic kisser.

And yet again, the world around you had stopped. Cook was the only thing that mattered to you and deep down you knew how wrong it all was but Cook made you feel worth it. Made you feel good about yourself.

After he let go of you, he grabbed your hand once again and you two slowly walked back to your house without saying another word.

You only caught him looking at you every now and then.

But as you stood in front of your house you turned to him and said:"Thank you Cook, I had a lot of fun in that just one hour." He laughed and replied:"Good. Im glad that I could at least make someone happy tonight."

You giggled as well before looking around to see if your mom was by any chance watching you. But the lights were off and the blinds were shut so you looked back at Cook and placed another quick kiss on his lips.

He didnt seem to be having it, so he pulled you even closer to have a proper harder kiss this time.

„I'll see you tomorrow then?" He asked and put a strand of hair behind your ear. „You see that balcony? Left window is mine. Next time make sure my mom doesnt see you."

He laughed his significant cook laugh and nodded. „Understood. But how soon would be too soon? I mean would it be inappropriate to show up in, lets say 10 minutes?"

-„Cook I'm really not the girl to..."

He grabbed your head and spoke:"No, no I just dont wanna go home yet and I wanna cuddle a bit. I'd be gone before your mum could notice anything."

„Cuddle" Cook wanted to cuddle, that was a first.

„Goodnight cook. See you tomorrow."

He nodded, let go of your hand and walked a couple of steps closer to the street.

„Its really warm tonight, I'll have to air out my room a bit though." you hinted and smiled at him before stepping inside the house. Before closing the front door you saw Cook smiling happily at you before looking up to your room for you to open the window for him. This boy was up for some closure he'd never had before.

[legionofpotatoes]

alright here’s ma thoughts on that flick I mentioned

we hatewatched a*my of the dead because we were CONVINCED “zombies in las vegas” would be an impossible concept to screw up, but in so assuming we obviously invoked a holy wager with the universe and got reminded, once again, that hoping for improvement from someone who’s dependably put out bad art is never a wise choice 😐

but we were honestly kinda roped in by the marketing??? and expected a goofy fast-paced flick with the odd traditional undead metaphor thrown in, framing some sort of relationship drama maybe or hell even nothing at all! we’d have taken pure indulgent storytelling, idk italian job with zombies in las vegas, I don’t know fucking anything but??? whatever this was???? spoilers below for it is time for One Of My Rants

I mean the main reason I really want to write all this and complain. this film here probably has the most unappealing cinematography I have ever experienced in my life and that is saying something. who the fuck signed off on that CONSTANT shallow-ass depth of field that imprisons your eyeline and turns every shot into bokeh paste???? and I mean every shot almost!!!! I promise if you think I am overreacting just throw a dart at the seek bar and watch twenty seconds from wherever it lands. it is horrifying to look at. at least it gave my girlfriend a good visual shorthand for what it’s like when I lose my glasses

why was sean spicer in this movie. did they pay him to be here. was sean spicer paid hollywood money for his scene in this film because fuck everyone who was involved in that decision

the legitimately baffling hints at the extraterrestrial origins of the infection that went absolutely nowhere and had no dramatic or plot-level bearing. we love to see the franchise sprouts fellas

yet another big budget waste of everything hiroyuki sanada has to offer. and bautista too I guess? I like him but man was this an odd career move

what was the crux of his conflict/resolution with his daughter btw. I understand it was rooted in miscommunication over their forms of grief irt mom but uhh… it was all rather clunky and didn’t land for me. I tried I really tried to buy in but something was wrong fundamentally with the groundwork there, it did not click and their catharsis felt unearned. I know there’s massive amounts of tragic baggage being projected there from the author so I’m not slapping any judgment down really;

but again it would be an easy thing to wave off if they just had a vibrant cast of lovable simpletons with good chemistry and the kinetic sense of plotting the trailers promised (and this premise never discounts good drama, either). but instead it was just two and a half (!) hours of meandering into situations the filmmaking instincts had no idea how to flow in and out of

to wit. I know talking about “bad pacing” is associated with armchair bullshit but consider the example of the scene were dieter does an out of nowhere little dance after childishly screaming but then still-killing a zombie, with the film framing this as a micro character triumph, and not a second later the bg soundtrack instantly fades into an orchestral score dramatizing a nearby mcguffin reveal, completely 180 degreeing the tone without a semblance of deft insert shot stitching or even I dont know a fucking jump cut maybe. now imagine this whiplash for 2.5 hrs uninterrupted

I will keep complaining about the length yeah because this was not a story requiring this much real estate to be told. Uhh in my humble and personal opinion, of course

[man sees zombie tiger] “this is crossing the line!” you can in fact write dialogue that is not utter nonsense that falls apart once you drill down its single fickle layer of referential meta winking. what line are you talking about. you have rules in this insane situation you’re in? total nitpick moment I know but it got burned in my brain for some reason. like a microcosm of the mismanaged dramatic instincts paired with weird writing that dots this movie. I am sure the director calls this either satire or genre deconstruction. I am SO sure

tumblr domino meme that goes from “dude getting sucked off while driving” to “entire las vegas literally nuked”

tig notaro is always great to see but once you know she’s been filmed as a separate greenscreen plate months after photography wrapped - cause she had to apparently replace some abusive asshole but that’s a whole other pig not worth fucking - it becomes impossible to unsee her odd detachment from everyone else in the movie lmao. it doesn’t really “ruin” anything on its lonesome but it is hard to unsee

why. was. sean. spicer. in. this. movie

a very simple key ingredient missing from fully turning lip service sympathy for main uruk hai dude into actual empathy that would generate meaningful conflict with hero family would be to spend a bit more time articulating what he internally wanted the most. because he was obviously trying to do something here with pointed agenda. a family, to have kids, build a caste system, save his wife’s head, return to his planet??? all of these could represent the bigger context in his psychology that spurred his vengeance but none of them are dramatically emphasized long enough for you to cheer him on. I’m not asking too much I promise. Articulating interiority of a mute character is pretty doable with deft cinema language, just gotta linger and hold a shot here and there for a few seconds, frame as his POV, donezo. I know this is also one of those like. “who cares” moments but the movie does, very evidently so, in making this guy an actual character. you can kinda piece it together and create a framework of sympathy for him, sure, but then again he ultimately becomes a foil to be killed and not defeated, so. Ehh whatever

quarantine zone stuff was not a wildly childish covid allegory quarantine zone stuff was not a wildly childish covid allegory quarantine zone stuff was n

the rooftop helicopter fakout at the end was such an ass-backwards, manufactured moment of what could be a simple setup/payoff it just pissed me off??? you gain nothing by giving sad dad five seconds of pointless crisis that flips right back to previous status quo ANYWAY, except for a weaksauce waste of runtime, which could be used instead to get inside notaro’s head and actually SHOW the remorse form as she took off, literally maybe even a frown playing on her face as she’s headed for safety right before we cut back to drax and the kid. just a simple-ass, minimal, momentary setup for what is the most basic filmmaking trick of creating macro catharsis moments. Just???? g o d if you can’t even land that shit why are you even doing any of this

that lil run final pam did was very very charming and super choreographed in a way that was the tiiiniest bit overdone

the whole intro with the simul-backstories and posing with family photos was just… oddly motivated. what was the goal? “here’s what we’re fighting for” vignettes? why? it’s not a functional setup in that vein. what was all that

also I am sorry if this is insensitive but the reasons most characters end up articulating to justify going back into the hell that destroyed their lives makes them sound seriously insane

I dont like complaining about CGI (honestly) but so much of it in modern movies can achieve higher fidelity if the animation is simply subdued. Do not overengineer and over-apply 2D cell methodologies and kinematics to each tiny twitch and movement in a hyper 3D model and I promise you. it will look a thousand times more natural. look at thanos in those last two movies. your rendering and detail are absolutely perfect with the tiger you just have to let stuff sit instead of constantly simulating swaying hair strands and firing off all facial muscles at once. great moment at one point where makeup zombie horse and CG zombie tiger are both in one shot together and just by unnecessary amounts of movement alone you can tell who doesn’t belong. again; detail, rendering, compositing, lighting, all picture-perfect; but y’all just gotta let the animation breathe sometimes, and chill it out

plot holes don’t really matter to me but it was kinda funny how lilly decided not to mention the enormous wrinkle in intel pertaining to an actual territorial tribe of intelligent zombies that require human offerings to let you pass, just so that reveal could play out in real time through the joyous punishment of the cartoonishly misogynistic dude

total chad move for mister uruk hai and final pam to rule from a rusted swimming pool complex

the ending with vanderohe oh my god. with the. cash stacks at the airport register. and specifically them working in his favor. that is literally something you do to get arrested under suspicion of theft. it was almost played for laughs and I respect that. coulda been goofier. make these movies goofy ya dorks

anyway, weird, weird movie. bad marketing. message unclear (something something sins of the father???), baffling editing instincts, literal worst-looking cinematography I ever laid eyes upon. Confidently dying on that last hill